Oh I know. That's one of the reasons why it's so depressing to bother to keep going. If those who are supposed to help and protect decide not to then whats the point?
CaptainPike
joined 2 years ago
Honestly I don't care if I'm a good or a bad person anymore. I used to. I used to be good all the time for everyone but it got me nowhere. I know I'm a shitty person now but I don't really care. No one cared about me before. Why would it matter if they suddenly cared now when they got their feelings hurt.
As for something left in the tank, nope. Tanks out of fuel. Car is running on either fumes or momentum and I won't know until this downhill slope tapers off.
The world wouldn't notice if I died. No, the world isn't better with me here. Especially when I'm not a good person.
I have never felt joy or happiness enough to have a basis to even say how to 'enjoy' something. Don't think I ever actually have enjoyed something. I enjoy being distracted from my life, but I couldn't care less what it is that I'm doing or watching. Only as long as it works.
As for being resilient, I take no pride in finding out that my bones won't break. I don't want to be the Atlas of holding up my own wasteland of a world. I don't want to be strong. I don't want to have to find out that I'm strong. Why can't I just be? Why does everything have to be a test? What the fuck is the point of passing every test when it's only the same thing forever? Unrelenting attempts to snap me in half?
Resilient means that you can survive things far more than is the norm. Surviving isn't living though. I've tried to end my own life and I'm too resilient for even myself. This is what I mean by praying for the strength to kill myself.
I've been trying. For years. There isn't any left. Sometimes I think I'm only alive because I'm hoping that Star Trek might come true spontaneously. That I'll wake up one day in a world that has problems, but where the problems are solved collectively. That I'm not discarded and left to suffer and rot until I die.
When organized religion is on the right side of history and using the strength of a collective organization, still trying to influence people but in a good way, do you feel it’s acceptable?
No. This is very much just a religious version of a 'good guy with a gun' situation.
It isn't.
If you weigh the good that organized religion provides compared to the bad it outputs then it's not even a question. Note that I say organized religion. Individual religion is not a problem but the second that you're actively trying to influence various people, or governments, around the world? Then you're just a cult with a franchise. Not to mention the fact that if you're using your religion as a guide as to how you should feel about people different than you? Well you're probably a bad person.
As a gay dude I've only seen people use religion as a justification for their hate of me. I've seen church people change their minds when they found out I was gay and in need of help.
Well that's gonna be a major yikes from me dawg. I knew it was bad when Reddit had to be shamed by CNN before they removed /r/jailbait. I knew it got worse during the 2016 election. But my god this is just fucking insane.
I'm a major Star Trek fan so for me it's been that aliens would show up and we'd get our shit together.