Can I get a citation for academic purposes? It's clearly from kink.com, but whose the lucky gal?
Correct. The president's specialty was biology, and the authors of the report are in the internet observatory department.
Very cute
Talk to a doctor.
But also this random internet stranger doesn't see a problem with it. (not a doctor)
Got any good sources for reading more about this BS?
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Breaking down plastic is already super super unappealing to any life form. The biggest reasons it's so useful to us is because it's basically super tightly woven strands which the engineered bacteria have to be forced to break apart, when the planet is filled with more readily available food like sugar molecules. The plastic eating bacteria they discover in the "wild" basically were isolated and surrounded only with plastic, and so had literally no other choice.
Releasing this bacteria into the wild won't be an option (but given human nature it will remain an option), their use would likely be in closed facilities with big vats to break down plastic (operated by the lowest paid employees who can't wait to skip the decontamination hallway because the football game is tonight).