this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Item in grocery store doesn't scan.

That means it's free!

[–] wetnoodle@sopuli.xyz 2 points 10 months ago

Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk away😭

[–] essellburns 11 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"

🀦🀬

[–] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.

[–] essellburns 2 points 10 months ago

I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue

[–] DudeBro@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh

[–] GreyShuck@feddit.uk 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."

To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 5 points 10 months ago

Agreed πŸ’―, this is not amusing.

[–] LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago

I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".

After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.

The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 3 points 10 months ago

I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.

[–] TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca 5 points 10 months ago

Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'

[–] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 2 points 10 months ago

It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.

[–] snowe@programming.dev 1 points 10 months ago

The β€œwe are not the same” meme. I understand the point, it’s just not funny. It’s cringey as hell.