Agnostic: I don't know shit.
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Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
Naturalism: That giant deuce that you just dropped, that's the same stuff stars are made of!
Pantheism: "It's all the same shit."
Funny, but aside from that for Catholics we believe bad stuff happens because of the devil, not punishment from god
I remember the devil went from popping volcanoes and starting plagues to selling nifty magics for immortal souls. These days He's into Rock-&-Roll and Dungeons & Dragons (also LGBT+ and feminism).
I'm assuming there's a secret holy order that retroactively gives salvation to everyone, triggered by the human species goes extinct, and that's why Satan has softened His game. But that's just me.
Not really a solid representation of either materialism, Judaism, or Rastafarianism TBH.
tl;dr for religious texts
Fudaism, eh?