Last time I saw this question, someone else recommended Actual Budget. I haven't used this myself (still using YNAB4), but I'm planning to switch to it in the future. It currently only imports from YNAB4, but they have an open API so it might import from other apps in the future.
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Yes I switched from YNAB to Actual Budget and this is the closest thing to what OP is looking for.
That said the interface isn't as polished, there are no bank imports outside Europe, mobile apps are discontinued and reports are sorely lacking.
But if those aren't deal breakers it has all the same core features and has been pretty solid for me.
I've recently started using this, running it in a docker container on my media server. It's fairly simplistic but that's exactly what I was looking for.
Not self-hosted (not online at all, actually) and the apps are in early stages (read-only afaik), but I'd recommend Buckets. I've done the same search as you, and nothing has even come close to it. The license is a tad expensive, but it's from the WinRAR school of licensing where it doesn't disable anything. It just nags you until you buy it. It syncs with SimpleFIN and everything is in a single file, so I just have it in a Syncthing folder to keep it updated between everywhere (though it does have a built in sync function).
I couldn't find any details on their page, but do you know how they handle bank account syncing? Is it using a backend service like Plaid or something similar to securely link the accounts, or do you have to provide your bank credentials to the app directly?
https://bridge.simplefin.org/ with this. It costs, but I spot checked some finicky banks, and they're supported, so I suspect the coverage is quite good.
Not sure if you're into command line tools but I'm using hledger and have emulated pretty well the YNAB envelope method and I'm liking it quite a bit. Using plain text for transaction journals is amazing and has solved some of the ambiguity I felt when using YNAB. Tons of information here for this type of accounting method. And look here specifically for implementing the envelope method with these sorts of tools.
No phone apps are available as far as I know but depending on your technical expertise you could provide reports from a webpage pretty easily.