this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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[–] Sekoia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'm totally cool with polyamory and its variants, but this infographic definitely paints monoamory as a lesser choice which is cringe (it also says "idealized monoamory" instead of just monoamory which I don't get).

Don't judge other's choices, doesn't matter if their choice is polyamory or monoamory.

[–] stappern@lemmy.one 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is inferior simply because it's the pushed default while it's the most complicated and the type that requires most personal sacrifices. This is objective.

[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't see how any of that is objective aside from it being the most commonly accepted, or "pushed" in your words.

A successful two person relationship requires a significant amount of compromise and sacrifice. How does having more partners lessen that?

[–] stappern@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it doesnt but you dont have to worry about monogamy-only rules like dont do this and dont do that, which is exclusive to monogamy. which makes it objectively worse since you dont have to worry about that in other relationships.

[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it doesnt but you dont have to worry about monogamy-only rules like dont do this and dont do that, which is exclusive to monogamy. which makes it objectively worse since you dont have to worry about that in other relationships.

All of the others - short of anarchy - also have their rules. For example, polyfidelity is nearly identical to monoamory except you now have to consider the dos and don'ts of both of your partners making it objectively more complicated than monoamory.

[–] stappern@lemmy.one 2 points 1 year ago

yeah those also kinda sucks but at least they are better

[–] saigot@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 year ago

I like this, but I don't like calling them affairs when everyone involved knows about it.

[–] stappern@lemmy.one 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I do relationship anarchy and it's fucking amazing. Monogamy feels like a really terrible idea

[–] zagaberoo 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It may be terrible for some people. If both partners are committed to a union based on undivided devotion, it's a powerful thing indeed.

[–] stappern@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Monogamy is terrible for most people so idk what you mean

[–] zagaberoo 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm sorry to hear that. There are all kinds of people in the world, and polyamory is not the only option that works.

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago
[–] hastati 4 points 1 year ago

You know I love and support people who live life their own way. However, every single poly person I have ever met has been so incredibly elitist about being poly it puts a bad taste in my mouth.

It is so silly to act like your subjective opinion about what works best for you is objectively better and people who live differently have chose an “inferior” lifestyle.

What if we just dropped the arrogance and let people live their lives the way they wanted to without judgement? Every poly community I’ve interacted with seems like that scene from South Park of people sniffing their own farts out of a wine glass.

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