this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2023
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Animals and Pets

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My 13 yr old mixed cocker spaniel is not doing so well. I feel like he is not living his best life. He has developed several issues in the past couple years that impact his QoL. I'm worried how to deal with his buddy an 11-12 year old mixed shih tzu. I do not want him to get depressed nor do I want to get a new dog just to replace him. I'm open for suggestions. Thank you. I also told my older sister to not get me a new dog as she has a habit of doing so lol.

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[–] Countmacula@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like surrendering is the worst possible option here. Old dogs do not find homes very often. Trust me. I know that world. It will leave everything it knows for a loud, and extremely stressful place.

Call me an asshole or whatever, but you are dooming him. I implore you to reconsider.

[–] yippy@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In this case would you recommend I euthanize him? I know I'm being selfish but I'm having trouble letting him go. I broke down the the day I made the appointment. The CA pet care site does not provide much info on putting down pets. I would rather he live with someone else.

[–] N0_Varak@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unless you personally arrange him a new home, he isn't going to find one. Old dogs are hard to adopt out, so you'll most likely end up putting him in a stressful shelter while he waits to be euthanized. If you absolutely cannot care for him, do him a favor and just euthanize him. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you need to hear it

[–] yippy@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes harsh advice is needed. Thank you

[–] Cipher 8 points 1 year ago

If you have the resources, you can check out Lap of Love and see if they serve your area. They come to where you live so your friend can have a peaceful euthanasia with your company. I favored this option because it allowed my other dog to smell my boys body before it was taken to the crematorium. She tends to be dense, but she could immediately tell he was gone. I really think this helped her grieving process compared to him not being around suddenly.

Euthanasia is the hardest, most loving thing we can do for a companion who is nearing their end.

[–] Countmacula@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

Like the other poster said, yes. The average life span for your dog is 12-15 years. I had to confront this with late fur baby. She was 12 and suffering. I couldn’t let her go but I knew I had to. I had just lost my dad a few months before.

I know it’s so hard. But don’t leave him. Please.

[–] Lycan 26 points 1 year ago

Please don't surrender your sick, elderly dog to a shelter. His quality of life will decrease there. The likelihood of him being adopted is extremely slim; what you will do is subject him to a confusing, stressful situation before he's euthanized. Assuming you've had him since he was a puppy, 13 years is a long time to have a stable home, only to suddenly be abandoned. Your shih tzu (and you) will likely cope better if an at-home euthanasia is performed for your cocker spaniel.

[–] brav0zulu@midwest.social 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm sorry to hear about this. The best advice I can give from. My experience is to have them together when he is put down, have someone come and do it in home. It gives a chance to say goodbye to the other pet and to find some closure.

[–] Shivs@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I would recommend this as well if you have the option. With my previous dog, the regular vet recommended another vet who was semi-retired to only doing final house calls. She was really nice and empathic and made it all easier to get through.

Whether getting a new puppy is a good idea or not very much depends on what your shih tzu is like - would he be able to keep up with a new puppy and enjoy it or is peace and quiet more his thing?

[–] Countmacula@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Agree here. Perhaps it is time to make that decision.

[–] mustyOrange 9 points 1 year ago

Surrendering a sick and elderly dog is a pretty shitty thing to do ngl

[–] AttackBunny@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

First, what do you mean by surrender? Are you surrendering him, to a shelter, and hoping he will get adopted by a nice family with a farm? If so, it won't happen. Absolutely do NOT do this. He will go directly to euthanasia. Old dogs especially are not going to be kept to be adopted out. There are too many young, cute puppies that need homes, and the cost of keeping an older dog around is too much. If it's a no kill shelter, his QOL will not be better in a kennel until he dies.

If you mean you are taking him to be euthanized, then take your other dog with. Both of you stay in the room when it's done, and let him see his friends dead body. Animals know, and it will be much easier for him to know what happened to his friend, rather than think he just left him. There will be an adjustment period, and you'll have to pay extra attention to the one you still have.

Also, as someone else said, if you are euthanizing, see if there are mobile vets in your area, who come to your home. It was honestly the best decision when we had to put my 19 year old cat down. She was comfy at home, and not panicked and in a clinical setting with all kinds of weird smells, people, noises, and all the other scary things. They handled everything, including her cremation, and notifying my regular vet for me.

[–] oh_benjibean 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm sorry you're going through this difficult situation. I wanted to privide my perspective as a long-time shelter employee, once upon a time.

I put in nearly ten years (variously full and part time) at a local animal shelter and can confirm many others' concerns about senior animal surrenders. It doesn't usually go well, and is hard for the folks on the shelter side playing damage control. It amounts to shifting the onus of euthanasia from the owner, who the dog knows, to a stranger. Often, shelters will sponsor senior animals' adoptions (waive the fee), but often, even this isn't enough an incentive.

Instead of a shelter, you could try reaching out to a privately run rescue, which frequently "specialize" in senior animals and animals with health issues. They aren't obligated to accept surrenders like a municipal shelter, but the extra effort you go through in placement would mean your senior pup gets place in a home or home-like setting, rather than a room with crates or kennels. Search petfinder.com for rescues in your area.

I also wanted to give you some encouragement for the wellbeing of your other dog. Its important to remember that animals are individuals, too, and handle loss and grief, whether surrender or euthanasia, differently. My dog Louis (now passed himself) was originally one of three and had adapted to the only-child lifestyle without much issue at all.

[Quick edit for minor spelling errors.]

[–] nicman24@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

What the fuck

[–] LallyLuckFarm 3 points 1 year ago

How to help a grieving dog

The biggest piece will be reinforcing (or possibly rebuilding) the routines that keep your shih tzu feeling stable. Behavioral changes are likely, since there are likely a number of routines that will change out of necessity, but keeping to the schedule they're used to will help immensely.

As @AttackBunny and @Cipher said, I'd encourage you to look into mobile vet services that can perform euthanasia at your home if that's the decision you and your vet have come to. It would allow the shih tzu to "say goodbye", as it were, and reduce the amount of anxiety and stress that the cocker spaniel will experience

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