weve used discord since google chat shut down, but that doesnt sound like it would be restrictive enough for your situation.
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I have a matrix instance in my garage we're using as family chat. My 7 year old gets along well with schildichat.
I consider a public matrix server, do yo see any issues with this?
Depends on what you mean by "child friendly". On my instance I control discoverability of channels as well as the bridges to other protocols. If that is fine for you I don't see a problem with a public instance - just make sure to set up encryption and save the recovery keys somewhere (at least for older children where they can control access).
Child friendly for means that porno is not in 2 taps random from a family chat (like this is in telegram) and that I could disable strangers to nock my child account.
Basically I do not look for ultimate control, but want it to be a safe place for a child who generally follows my tool usage instructions 🙂. Telegram here is an anti example for me, you go to setting people neraby and see a big list of "people" with porn avatars and sexsevice names.
There would be a lot of overhead but there's nextcloud chat
Sounds like really a lot of overhead starting from hosting. What are the benefits over public matrix server?
Ease of install
Using a public matrix service requires zero efforts to install.
Jitsi meet
Jitsi now requires an account with Google or Microsoft to use it afaik.
Only if you use the instance hosted by 8x8