Asklemmy

Pro tip for less stinky farts: shit as soon as you wake in the morning so you're not carrying bowels full of shit all day pushing fart gas through it.

Additional benefits include not having spontaneous emergency "oh Lord" moments of needing to find a toilet asap so as to not shit your pants.

I’d take a false alarm over a sneak attack.

Rank, because it means there’s shit mixed in it. Loud without smell is mostly just gas.

Like all great comedy it is about location and timing.

So somewhere you can trap a fart? Great for a stinker, perhaps get one caught behind the door of a supermarket chiller cabinet. My brother used to "cup" people by farting in a suitable receptacle and sneaking up behind them and jamming it under their nose. He still might, although I suspect his wife has probably had words about setting a bad example for the kids.

If you are amongst family or friends then a real ripper seems the correct choice. Everyone can give it a heart cheer but you are also setting a bar that you are challenging other people to beat.

Rank for sure. Loud farts are funny. Rank are disturbing.

Sending: Loud.

Receiving: Smelly.

Depends on if you're withdrawing or depositing

The third option: thinking it's a fart and instead you shit yourself

Depends on if it's a competition or not

You forgot wet