this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2023
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Neurodivergence

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All things neurodivergent and relating to the broader neurodivergent community (and communities).

See also this community's sister subs Feminism, LGBTQ+, Disability, and POC


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Invisible struggles may be the worst kind of struggles. Or if you're not blending in, people insist that "you should try." It's especially hard coming from family members who know you but refuse to acknowledge that you can't just """change your brain""" and """be normal""".

This can also apply to invisible illnesses & mental health. Please know that there are people out there who get you. You're not alone.

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[–] Foon 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I feel this.

Over the past couple of years I've made a conscious effort, when someone just doesn't get it, instead of being annoyed, to feel happy for them. Why? Because apparently they have no experience with their body or brain limiting them. With experiencing something that they can't just change or push through. With struggling to do something that comes easy to others. So, they're lucky, and I try to think "good for you".

Of course that isn't fool proof, I do still get frustrated at times, but it really surprised me how trying to create this perception shift in myself actually helped me.

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This feels so condescending towards neurotypicals in the funniest way.

"Oh, you don't experience this tormenting struggle and can fit in with the majority of society! Good for you!" LMAO

Tbf, I know that's not the intent, of course, but it still made me laugh!

[–] Foon 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hahaha yeah I can see that! And in a way, sometimes it does feel a bit condescending, depending on how condescending the other person is about it all. But mostly what I aim for is being genuinely pleased for them!

(and just to be clear, all of these thoughts happens only in my head, I don't want to be condescending to anyone!)

[–] root@lemmy.belclayfer.net 3 points 1 year ago

Lol I love this 😄 well done

[–] Kuroneko 2 points 1 year ago

I love your thinking here!

[–] ira 2 points 1 year ago

This is an amazing way to shift the situation and keep better mindset! Additionally I Imagine projecting this back a bit may sometimes lead to the person opening more to the idea maybe their experiences aren't universal more easily than when getting into essentially a conflict situation due to the inherent misunderstanding