this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025

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i want to transition so bad (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 week ago by puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

12 comments fedilink hide all child comments

its been 5 years.

fuck.

I've wanted to transition for a 4th of my life now and I still don't have enough control over my life to be me.

i would probably hate myself so much less if i had started hrt and transitioning when i wanted to.

rant over ill probably delete this post i just needed to vent im sorry

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[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's never too late. You're very young. Your happiness is worth it. And if you're waiting for your life to be perfect to transition, you're setting yourself up for failure. Dysphoria causes distress, and it makes it that much harder to succeed in other areas of your life.

When I was seeking bottom surgery I was gatekept a lot for not having great mental health. Needless to say, bottom dysphoria was a significant contributing factor to my poor mental health. I am healthier than I have ever been post op.

What I'm really trying to say by that is that you deserve to feel joy about your body and your gender presentation. You shouldn't hold yourself back. Forcing yourself to exist in a body and presentation that causes you distress has a huge impact on your well-being.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Dysphoria causes distress, and it makes it that much harder to succeed in other areas of your life.

It's hard to overstate this, before I transitioned I thought transitioning was selfish and mostly a way for me to finally wear women's clothes outside my house, etc. - I focused on the social and personal benefits, which were small compared to the risks.

But the reality is that testosterone was destroying my mind and made me a completely miserable, dysfunctional person. I didn't transition because I finally could prioritize what I thought was a trivial desire to be a woman, but because I learned it could be the cause of a lot of my mental health problems. I realize now that testosterone was wrecking my life and I was hurting the people I love. In the end, I transitioned because it was the right thing to do, not just for me but for people impacted by me. Refusing to transition was like self-harming, and I saw it was hurting more than just me.

Now I realize transition is more medically necessary than I could have understood (or more importantly, been willing to believe). I still, even now, have a hard time believing this, and I regularly doubt my experience.

[–] LoamImprovement 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm 32 years old and at about a 5 on the Norwood scale and I started taking minoxidil and finasteride, and reaching out to Planned Parenthood to talk about getting on E, all because I saw pictures of people who were older and balder than me when they started transitioning and they're beautiful.

There is still time.

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[–] will_steal_your_username@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago

I started in my late twenties and I talk to people who started way later. We are all happier for it. If you want to transition, go for it! Like lady autumn says, it relieves some dysphoria for lots of people, it might make things easier

[–] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

Oh puppycat, I'm so sorry that you're still going through this. I don't know if you remember me from chatting on Matrix, but please feel free to reach out in DMs here or Matrix if you wanna talk again. You deserve to be able to transition, and I know that your partner has been preventing that. I want to help however I'm able too.

[–] girlthing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I'm in a similar situation.

I tell myself I'm acting out of self-preservation, but it's really just fear. I don't have the courage to face the shit that happens to out trans people.

I do think that fear is justified given my specific situation, and I do think that if I can somehow manage not to go off the deep end for the next few... years🫠... I have a chance of getting myself into a safer and less scary situation, where I can hopefully start to live as myself.

...except I could be wrong - I could die tomorrow anyway, or the safety I'm seeking could cease to exist soon, or maybe I'll just never find what I'm looking for unless I ignore my fear and dive headfirst into the unknown.

It's hard. And I don't have the answers. Just wanted you to know you're not alone. (And I felt less alone thanks to your rant, so don't apologize.)

[–] apotheotic 9 points 1 week ago

The best time to start hrt is 5 years ago, the second best time to start is today

I can relate to the frustration of not being able to be you yet - but when you finally are able to, it'll all be okay

[–] King_Bob_IV@startrek.website 5 points 1 week ago

I am 39 years old and my egg just cracked. I can't imagine how it must feel being stuck but there is lots of time left for you to get where you are going. Keep going strong, it gets better I swear.

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What's stopping you, and what can you do about it?

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