this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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What do I want for my birthday? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 2 weeks ago by GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
47 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

It's that time of year again when my partner gets upset with me because I'm not the kind of person that ever wants anything...

My partner always wants this or that. They mention things they want all the time. So I write down what I hear. Gift holidays are covered easily because I try to pay attention.

I feel bad though. I know it's hard when I don't talk about things I want. And when asked, I don't know what to say. It only ends up causing me anxiety.

This is so dumb. What does a person who doesn't want things want for their birthday?

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[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Use it as an excuse to strengthen your bond I guess. Just say something like "all I want is to do (XYZ thing you know you both like: dinner, movie, whatever.) with you, I don't need anything more." If that even is something you'd even want to do of course. Don't force it if it isn't what you want.

Just be honest with them, you could even possibly try to explain the anxiety you feel about it all and let them know you're happy just being with them in whatever way.

Either that or pick a food you like lol for me I'd probably just say "get me a big ol' bag of chocolate covered pretzels and I'll be in heaven." :P

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

There's a lot of good truth within this post. More than you might realize. Something to ponder today.

[–] KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Full disclosure, I peeked at your comment history.

How about those phone mounts and maybe a neat 2-in-1 tripod/monopod for your binoculars? Or a shoulder sling?

Otherwise, my go-to is an experience like others suggested. Escape room, paint nite, afternoon of pool/ bowling/ mini golf, Top Golf, cooking class, museum visit, comedy night, hockey game, roller skating, hiking, music bingo/pub trivia, or consider a hotel room nearby for the night with an indoor pool or my absolute favorite...a cabin weekend with a hot tub and a real wood-burning fireplace.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Damn it! I clearly want things! Why don't I think to write these things down!?

You're only slightly creepy for looking at my comment history, but also pretty dang smart for doing so.

It would take some research, but maybe they can help with that. I think that's the frustrating part for them because they don't know the first thing about these things, but hey... they are the ones who want to get me something. Haha.

Years ago, they bought me clamp on lenses for my phone, but it did not fit. I have a new phone now and I would love lens that I could mount to it. There's a company that makes custom cases so they easily attach. I didn't want to bother getting a new case, but my partner might want to do just that.

And if I don't dig it, we can always return it and try again. Hopefully that wouldn't be too offensive. I've done that in the past and never ended up buying a replacement item even though I promised I would. 😬

So yeah, an attachable lens or mount that would affix my phone to my binoculars when birding. And I think there are monopod stands, kind of like a tripod but only one leg, which can be used to keep things like binoculars stable. Maybe something like that if it isn't too weird looking. Lol

Thank you, creepy internet sleuth! It's so funny that I wrestle with what to think of when I know I've expressed interest in things. I don't know why I couldn't think of that on the spot. I very rarely actually get those things, but others might want to go that extra step and actually get them as a gift!

This can work!

[–] daytonah@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Mines comin up as well... I always struggled to be in the "here and now" and been too busy for years and dropped most of my hobbies, found a very old camera that I bought in 2010-11 from the storage room... Its too big, started looking at what is currently available, found Ricoh griiix, saw some forums with the sensor results and pocketability; might get me back into photography, back into "here and now"..... Take a look if you are into that.. Just leaving this thought here....

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

It's a great idea. I did nearly the same exact thing some years ago. It helped a lot. It grounded me. Rejuvenated me. I want to be there again. TMI: since then, life has blown up... more than once... and left me pretty mangled. Hobbies and those life giving things dissipated. Mental health declined again. I started drowning in work and survival. But slowly I'm getting into a better place. I miss those walks with camera in hand. Watching life unfold around me. Capturing creatures living life in all their funny ways. Yes, I quite liked that. And while it may not happen in time for my bday, that craving is there and that's a good thing. I hope you're able to spend more time in the here and now, with camera in hand. πŸ’œ

[–] Wojwo@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I always go with experiences over stuff. I want to do something with the people I care about and collect memories instead of things. It gives people the freedom to be as frugal or lavish as they want and I don't have to store or return anything.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Now this is what I'm talking about. πŸ’―

[–] orvorn@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pick something you already have and use often, like a phone charger or an office chair or a pair of shoes, and ask for a higher quality version of the same thing. Something that will last longer or be more comfortable.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Now this is a good idea. Genuine thanks!

[–] folaht@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

To list of things anything you could want:

  • Goods
  • Services
  • Relationship time, that is your partner doing things for you,
    which can be subdivided into 10 more types of wishes.
[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Food? Everybody likes food, right?

Or an experience - a trip, a night out, whatever

[–] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

Consumables are great. It opens up for repeatability and the receiver is never stuck with dust collectors.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

You want a fun day trip that you don't have to plan?

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

An experience, like going axe-throwing.

A favorite food.

A music playlist made especially with you in mind.

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My partner gifted me a pottery class recently, which we are doing next weekend and im VERY excited about. Maybe do that?

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Good point. I can look up one of those coupon apps to see what kind of things are being offered. Maybe something will catch my attention. Thanks!

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I also don’t like receiving gifts from my spouse. So I just tell her to buy my bar tab for the night.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ha! I so very rarely go for drinks, mainly because I don't wanna pay for it. Lol. If only I married someone who was independently wealthy. Oh well, no take backsies. 😁

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Lol my wife isn’t rich either. She works as an insulator, so me makes decent enough money that she can buy me 60 bucks worth of beer once a year tho.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If I didn't have to actually absorb all the calories from that amount of beer, this would be an amazing gift. 🀣

Seriously, I watch sitcoms where people are drinking beer after beer at home or going to bars all the time. My body simply can't keep up with that amount of input. πŸ™ƒ

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well I jog a lot and work construction so it evens out haha

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Oh yes. Jogging. I remember that.

I may have to start jogging again just for the beer. 😁

[–] Anissem@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Same, I’d honestly just skip my birthday if that was an option

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

LSD

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Imagine the gift of wonders that my mind might give me for my birthday! It would be incredible!Either that... or I will suffer a psychotic break. 🀣

[–] psyklax@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

She might get mad if you tell her this, but maybe you want some time to yourself. It's what I usually want on my birthday.

[–] Maiq@lemy.lol 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tell them the they are the only gift you need and how lucky you are to have them in your life. Anything material just pails in comparison.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Ha! To which they will then melt in my arms and kiss me and tell me just how wonderful I am... only to then punch me in the arm and say... "now tell me what I can get you, dammit, or I will hurt you more!" 😁

[–] apotheotic 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If your partner is a craftsy type, you could suggest that they craft something for you. It was always those gifts that meant the most to me when I was with someone craftsy. It doesn't have to have utility, or be perfect, it just means the world that someone spent time and thought creating something for you.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Now this is a great idea and why i asked this question in the first place! Not sure why I wasn't thinking of it.

They once made me an incredible crocheted dice bag. It's a crocheted bottle and cork with a baby red dragon wrapped around it protecting it. It took time and effort, looks super cool, was cheap to make, and I love it! This is the kind of thing that would make them feel great in giving and I love it too!

Win-win!

[–] apotheotic 2 points 2 weeks ago

Glad I could help!

[–] iamanurd@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

A cat.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Good god no. Half my family's allergic. I'm just allergic to their nature. 🀣

[–] iamanurd@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

In that case, a cure for allergies.

[–] iamanurd@midwest.social 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And a cat.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'll put it on my wish list. πŸͺ„πŸ˜Ί

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

if i wanted something other than a bag of cocks i would just buy it

[–] JamesBean@kbin.earth 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe a really nice edition of a book you already love, from a luxury publisher like The Folio Society or Easton Press?

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

A fun idea. For me to get for someone else! Muahaha!

[–] menemen@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Get a hobby. You'll always need/want stuff if you become a photographer or a fisherman or a pnp-player or a ...

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

If only for my birthday I could get more resources, like time for hobbies or a huge raise so I have more money than I know what to do with. 😁

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Easy: "I WANNA SIX PACK O BEER AND AN EMPTY HOUSE, PRONTO"

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ha! You're on to something with that! 😁

[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ask for world peace maybe it'll work.

[–] GlassHalfHopeful@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago

I asked god. Still waiting for a response. Will let you know.