Casual Conversation

My dad had this segment of a tree trunk about three feet high with a large knot in the side. Inside the knot was carved a super-realistic human face. That thing creeped me the fuck out.

My mom bought these old mink skins from a garage sale and the cats loved them so we couldn’t throw them away. Super creepy to come across randomly around the house.

Oh! Also when I was really little our house had a gigantic furnace that took up the whole basement and creaked 24/7. Had to sprint up the stairs after turning off the lights.

I used to own one of these SpongeBob lamps...

5-year old sized doll with articulated eyelids in the basement.

We had a furnace in the basement that was noisy and scary when down there and was heard through the house via the radiators. Also, the basement bomb shelter with the light switch in the middle of the room. Also, the literal ghost in the attic constantly walking and flushing toilets. Also, the bear in my closet.

I think one of those might have been imagined

My mom and her siblings shared a wealth of disturbing/paranormal stories with us growing up, many of which were retold and/or corroborated by the others or extended family seperately. I grew up terrified of the dark as a result, as most kids are told that ghosts and monsters aren't real. I still believe they saw many of the things that they spoke of, but I didn't need to know about it. Not then.

We had a small animatronic monkey toy, similar to this one below, but in a sitting position snd with deep black eyes. We didn't play with it (try to imagine why) so it was on the top shelf of the room.

When we used the A/C in the hot summer, because it was high in the room, its face was slightly lit, and because in the resting position the head of the monkey looked at his side and below, it would end up looking at me while I was sleeping, barely lit by a status LED.

It actually didn't bother me always, but if I woke up from a nightmare it was the first thing I saw and usually meant not going back to sleep.

Bonus: I also hated mirrors. When going to the bathroom in the night, while cleaning my hands I was terrified of looking down from the mirror and look up back to it, I always imagined some horror creature like a ghost, or the girl from The Ring to happear behind my shoulders.

I didn't have any objects.

What I did have was a seemingly inocuous video tape. It was called 'Steps', and it was a series of simple childrens' songs for foreign kids who were learning english.

But there were TWO songs that really, REALLY freaked the fuck out of 5 year old me.

The first one was a song about how a kid went to school and had a red pencil etc. -- Except it was sung in this very dramatic, very soulful voice that made it feel like we were supposed to mourn the death of this poor kid who had gone to school and never returned.

The second one was a song about eating your vegetables and shit. Think of any song like that, what you're imagining is probably pretty close to what it was like in the tape. But the imagery consisted of some singing fruit. And there was a bit where an apple would look right at the viewer -- And SMILE. With a set of (what seemed to be, it's been 25 years) VERY REALISTIC HUMAN TEETH.

These two songs always had me running for cover behind the couch. Surprisingly I enjoyed the rest of the tape.

I was forced to go to a charismatic church as a kid. We're talking speaking in tongues, cast out demons, and all that bullshit. As such, The Devil was present in a lot of my childhood fears.

I was convinced I could feel him breathing on my face at night in bed whenever I did something "wrong".

I hated this Santa Clause decoration that my grandmother hung in my bedroom window every year (we lived in first floor apartment facing the street). When the streetlamp outside of my window hit it at night it looked the head of the Devil in silhouette.

I hated it when my family watched Unsolved Mysteries or things like that because there was always a chance they would do a segment on demonic hauntings or shit like that.

Religious trauma is a hell of a drug.

Parents are dogshit I will never be one