Asklemmy

A kid got fired for finding a pen on the ground. Person returned for the pen and then called corporate claiming the kid stole the pen

Some office administrative was going to be fired, but due to timezone confusion all her accounts were terminated before HR got to the office.

For half of the morning somebody had to pretend to be checking with IT why her computer didn't work.

I got fired for reading the newspaper during my lunch break. Once a week this newspaper came with a for hire section that also included career advice and al that stuff. I was reading that part but the CEO called me into his office to tell me off. I called his bluff and he fired me.

I was scheduled to lead a team in China for a few weeks and after that had to go to the US for some other job. Sadly people that are fired can't work off premises anymore so the staff manager begged me to accept their withdrawal of my discharge.

I kindly declined and got payed out a years' wage. Took the time to reorientate into less toxic work environment. I now work with politicians, don't know what happened there.

Posting a selfie of himself holding a burger and a pop next to the "No food, no drinks, no photographs" sign in the secure datacenter?

I worked in a glasshouse for a while. Since everything is glass, and the temperature is pretty high, the new guy went to change his pants from long ones to short ones. The son of the boss, who just started recently, decided he did not like it and fired him on the spot.

I thought it was really stupid. Unfortunately there was no talking him out of it. The guy was hard to work with, and part of the reason I quit that job later.

I once long ago worked in the incoming mail department for are insurance company. It was basically data entry.

Thing was, there wasn't enough work.

There were two teams of five, plus a supervisor for each team, and a manager above them.

So what would happen was, we would arrive in and go to our spots, a few minutes later the main would arrive. Most days there was 100 pieces of mail to process, a really busy day may have twice this amount.

Even the most complex items would take me 10 minutes to process. The bulk was around 3 minutes, given the above, could personally have processed all the mail on an average day, with 3hrs to spare for complications.

On an average day, I got in the order of 30-40 minutes of work.

On slow days, it was more like 20.

I started coming in late, sleeping at my desk. Wandering around, going up to the upper management offices and the roof.

I eventually got fired, after months of this behaviour. Not because I was underperforming, no! I got fired, because I was "effecting the moral of the team"

I can see the point of why I was fired. I was an arse, I wasn't suitable for the role.

It was me, I left a bad review for the pizza place I was working for. Owner was pissed, but to be fair I waited 2 damn hours for my delivery and when it still never showed up I just cancelled the order. I wasn't even getting a deal on it.

This is technically fired, but it's more like quitting. It doesn't perfectly fit this thread but I love telling this story.

A few months into my first real job, the engineers got their raises (not me, I was new). 0%, after record profits, the team busting their ass and working insane hours, and promises of good raises. I think they got some gift cards or something.

One of my coworkers goes back to his desk, packs some stuff, walks to his car, and doesn't come back. He got paid for a full month before they finally fired him. We got a beer after and he was like "oh I don't think I'm gonna go back" in the most Office Space way

I have a co-worker (in an open, shared office) who

• doesn’t react to tickets, Teams messages or emails
• refuses to answer the phone even when the call is specifically for him
• has only one specific task assigned to him, which he regularly fucks up but doesn’t care
• sleeps under his desk for an hour every day during work time
• plays music with offensive lyrics loudly, while others are on phone calls with customers
• watches porn on his work computer
• walks over to co-workers, farts, then walks back to his chair

He’s been with the company for 20 years.

The last time I was a team lead, I would sit in on meetings and whenever this one admin assistant was present she would complain about an analyst's appearance saying things like he looked disheveled because his shirt had some wrinkles; but he was very much silicon-valley/california-shabby-chic fashioned for the time.

We got bought out by a bank complete with stereotypical old fashioned management and dinosaur sensibilities from the East Coast. She brought up the analyst again during one of our meetings that included the new management and the analyst was fired the next day.

A whole team called in sick on the same day, went camping, posted pics to Facebook, shared the pics at work the next week in front of the boss.

At a place I worked at previously, there was a guy who got fired because the company found out that he had been hiding cans of beer in the water tank part of the toilet.

Yes...you read that right, he would "take a bathroom break" so he could pound a beer a few times throughout the day lol.

I wouldn't critique it that much honestly, except for the fact that he operated heavy equipment for his job, so yeah, not safe at all.

We had one new guy getting fired for "refusing to talk to people who don't have a university degree".

Harvey’s Hamburgers counted the times I punched in 1-3 minutes past my official start time (despite me being there 20 minutes in advance all times) as being “late” and fired me based off of this.

The two other employees were both pregnant with the manager so I have a suspicion that I got fired because at that time I couldn’t get pregnant. I still can’t get pregnant now because I’m a man, but I also couldn’t get pregnant back then.

Guy tried to enlist the boss's brother in law to falsify work. "We don't have to walk all the way up the mountainside to do the work, the client will never check it". Then he went home, leaving said brother in law to do all the work by himself.

A week after getting fired, he called the boss about the performance bonus that was promised at the start of the contract.

There's a linux command, called "touch" which sets the timestamp on a file. It's used for several things, including testing that the user has write privileges and that the filesystem is working.

I heard of a sysadmin who used to use "touch kids", creating or updating the file 'kids'. Some sort of internalised joke, I assume. His boss told him not to because it was inappropriate. Then again formally when he kept on doing it. Dude couldn't stop, like some form of muscle memory. Kept on using kids as a test filename.

So yeah, he got sacked pretty quickly.

A salesman for the company forged sales orders. As soon as the company started billing the supposed customers he was discovered and asked to leave immediately. No severance (which you by law are entitled to), just leave, and we won't file charges. I have no idea what possessed him to do something so stupid....

So it doesn’t exactly fit but the first job I got after my training was, as I found out later, just a stand-in for someone else who had more experience but couldn’t join until about a month or two later. So I was supposed to be fired during probation once he joined. My coworker, who was already unhappy with his job, found out about it and quit right before the arrival of the other guy to make room for me (my hero!). So I took his place and my boss was stuck with me being there. A few months later my (new) coworker and me (and a few others) quit at around the same time because it became unbearable to work at this place.

Someone at a no-paper, no-phones call centre I worked at had their buddy film them taking a call then they posted it to YouTube, both of them got fired when someone in management apparently saw it online.

A reply to a personal email from the direct boss but sending it to every other boss in the enterprise and including something in the line of "stop touching my balls!!!" ("deja de tocarme los cojones").

Someone got hired as an IT Support Desk Technician. On his 5th day, he told the CEO that this job was temporary and he had no intentions of staying as he wanted to work in IT in a school.

5 minutes later he was fired.

I just remembered someone got fired from my first week of working at my job... But I literally can't remember what they looked like or their name. It's freaking me out

Anyways he got fired because he left our client in the waiting room of a hospital. (We work with the special needs and left with all his medical information)

There was an ice cream party for the company. Those who attended were laid off.

We were a small team canvassing for a nonprofit. So we would go out to markets and busy areas and talk to people all day trying to get donations.

Well one time we were out during election times and this guy from our team spent the majority of the day campaigning for a local candidate. That was his last day on the team.

This feels like a bait question to get people to break the new "no politics" rule.