Asklemmy

i like me.

everyone else is optional

I remember I also don't like a lot of people and that's it

It may sound a little silly but when I get good feedback on something, I pop it in my journal under a specific tag so I can revisit it from time to time.

It’s unfortunate that people are unfair to you, possibly they are younger or otherwise have incorrect expectations about your fallibility as a human.

I used to respond to things like that but these days I let the positive comments speak for themselves. Just remember to ask for feedback- a lot of people otherwise won’t do it unless they’ve got something negative to say.

70% of people are idiots so you're doing pretty well. Only 9/10 dentists can agree on a toothpaste ffs!

There's a meme image I once saw that spoke to me.

It went; "Stop trying to be liked by everybody, when you don't even like everybody"

And that's so fucking true for someone such as me. You can't please everyone, so you should stop trying because there's thousands to possibly millions of people out there who simply live that spiteful and bitter lifestyle as their entire persona.

Who matters to me are the people I've personally befriended. It doesn't hurt to co-exist and be kind to those who give it to you.

But everyone else, fuck them.

I'm a 36 year old professor. My only negative evaluation this past semester was that I didn't give homework. Though, most of them hated my guts from using grades to tell them their work was mostly average.

The students realized they needed to change to improve their grades. And subsequently, they grew the way I expected, which was far more than they thought they would. They recognized I was teaching them more than the material: I was teaching them the meta. That was valuable enough to them to forgive me for being such a dick about the numbers that define their self worth.

So, want the students to give you those glowing 10/10 evaluations? Piss them off and make them glad that you did. Give them something of value that no one has. But, based off of how much you seem to care about the difference between a 95% and 100%, I think, much like my students, you are chasing your participation trophy. Think on it.

I just don't give a shit.

Many people suffer from impostor syndrome to a degree. Many people make mistakes even when it comes to subject matters they are very familiar with. Everyone has technical problems every now and then - that's outside of your control. Technology is finicky and increasingly shit.

You'll always get people who think they know better than you, or could do something better than you. But they aren't. You are. You got where you are through your work and experience. As long you feel that you're prepared to the best of your ability and knowledge, I think your conscience can be clear.

You will never have everyone you meet like you. Some people are just basic shitheads, and some of them will write reviews like that precisely to gaslight you into doubting yourself and your abilities. They do it for kicks. If 95% of your reviews are positive, you're in a good place.

Maybe it's not about whether they like you or not, but they fairly evaluated your work? No one is perfect, but it's helpful to take constructive criticism? When you teach and you've thoroughly explained the subject matter in a relatable way, but students miss a few questions, due to typos, being tired, etc, do you give a perfect score when they've missed an answer or two on homework or tests? If you do, how are they to know where they need to reinforce understanding, or explain an answer better? While technical difficulties can't be helped, would that excuse a student's missed homework or answers to questions? How can you be sure they grasp the material? We work with each other and maybe give broad leeway, but no one is perfect, and we all have areas we can improve. Perhaps they like you and want your continued success, as well as students who come behind them?

Well I dont like everyone, so I have to assume that not everyone would like me.

There's the old saying if you're not pissing someone off, you're not doing it right, also some people love to complain when given the opportunity, so take that with a grain of salt.

If the majority of feedback is good, then you're fine, fuckthem whinging pricks, you keep smashing it in spite of the 5%.

I just don't care. Just like I don't expect people to care whether I like them.

Life's too short to have an opinion on everything and anyone.

Honestly, I just assume no one likes me. It makes life easier. I don't mean this in, like, an incel way or anything. More like I don't assume anyone likes me until they give me a reason to think otherwise. I don't assume they're hostile, but I do assume I probably just rub them the wrong way, and that, again, unless they give me a reason to believe otherwise, just move on. It makes life easier. I'm rarely disappointed with social interactions, and sometimes very, very pleasantly surprised

I don't like everyone I meet. Why would I expect to be liked by everyone I meet?

I have a job where it is my job to say no. That means I'm not going to get liked by everyone.

It is more important to do my job right than to be liked by everyone.

It would be more effort than it's worth for me to remember them enough to care. Too lazy.

The last time I and my surrounding people rubbed the wrong way, I asked why. I sought to see if something was wrong and at once they told me, even if in the second instance I was not informed. If there is no coordination, how they treat me is their doing. Years of being beat around would reinforce this. If the masses do something wrong, contrary to how many think of it, it doesn't become right just because they're the masses.

Once you come to terms that most people don't like you, you just have to work backwards a bit.

work on your self-confidence and self esteem. go check a psychologist.

I'm a performer and a teacher. I know for a fact not everyone likes me, or likes everything I do (which involves a lot of freaky shit). I don't do what I do for them. I do it for the people who do enjoy it, and try to make it a point to come out to my classes or shows. I very much appreciate those people.

around 95% of feedback is positive to very positive.

Don't focus on the ones that don't like you. Focus on the ones that do. Unless there is something constructive in the negative reviews, you can safely ignore them.

I like to pretend that I'm inherently superior to them :)

I stopped caring. Most people just love to complain. They’re not even thinking about you as much as themselves. Just imagine they’re people from Lemmy. Random people saying dumb things in an attempt to make themselves feel superior because they are lacking something in life.

Do your best, try not to fuck with people, and know that no one exists but you.

1. You are human. Accept that imperfection is a built-in feature. No one is going make 100% of people happy. It’s not possible.

2. 95% is great. Your lessons are more successful than most, I reckon. You know if you’re doing a good job or not. You’re the expert here - not the 5%.

3. You have to accept that you can’t control how other people feel, how things affect them, or how they behave. Your lessons may just not reach certain types, and that is probably not your fault. It may not be their fault either, but they may not understand that.

4. Students (especially teenagers and often college-age) often think they know the one right way that everything should be done. They’ll find out eventually, hopefully, that their views aren’t infallible, or they’ll grow up to be insufferable. Many students are also just vindictive in reviews if they find out a class isn’t as easy as they expected or if they got a bad grade when they didn’t study. The possibilities are so endless that you’ll just drive yourself insane if you try to take every criticism at face value, when they may well be mostly fiction. (Your being upset by the negative reviews may be their intention.)

Look at other reviews of other instructors, teachers, professors, etc. and you’ll see a pattern. Grade yourself on a curve.

Some people are just looking for something to complain about because they are unhappy people anyway. That has nothing to do with you. Some people are complete idiots, go read some Amazon reviews. My favorite is about a Rice Paddle (plastic) that you only use with an electric rice maker. One reviewer said it was crap because it melted. Clearly they used it with a regular pan and had no idea what they bought. If you like yourself and the people you care about and respect like you, no one else really matters. It's nice to be liked, but respecting and caring for yourself is the most important thing to remember. And sometimes (too many times actually), having some people like you can be a liability. Some people are just horrible and will latch on to you and spread their toxicity. It can be a real gift to not be liked by these people. Not being liked is not always a bad thing. The Sun shines on both sides of the planet!

Flip the table. Anger. Disgust. Judgment. Indifference.

If you want to be nice you can always keep your doors open to resolution. But it makes no sense whatsoever to give away mental and emotional real estate for free to donkeys and assholes. It's simply too valuable and you should cherish it for yourself.

You might think indifference is the weakest of what I've mentioned. But being ignored is extremely painful. Aurelius wrote that this is the default goto if you don't have a witty comeback.

Wish I could help with the strategy. I don't deal with this in any way, I genuinely don't care if someone likes me or not. I actually don't think about it. I understand this can be a problem and mess with one's confidence in a situation like yours, but the numbers speak for themselves - you are in a good place.

As I have gotten older, I have learned to realize that there are people who can not forgive and can not forget. They are the most negative-nellies, and will judge you and most likely themselves bad for just being human. I still listen to them, that's basic human respect. I don't let their words tear me down, that's basic self respect.

"What we got here is, a failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach." - Cool Hands Luke.

I just stopped caring. Why should it matter if people like me? Life is a very short, fleeting construct. Wasting time worrying about what some other human thinks of me makes literally no difference in the grand cosmos. I’d rather put my energy toward something interesting.

These 5% of negative reviews probably has nothing to do with you. There's always a small amount of people unhappy for random or unrelated reasons (broke up with boy/girlfriend, car broke, etc) and who would write negative reviews no matter what. It's possible they cannot dissociate the course from other things happening in their life. They just happened to be unhappy at that time, and felt like leaving a nasty review.