Asklemmy

The rule you’ve described is ‘you have the right to treat people how others have treated you’.

That is not the Golden Rule. The point of the Golden Rule is to proactively be a good person, not one who reciprocates. Regardless of how others treat you, by treating others how you want to be treated, you will be seen as a good and decent person who spreads kindness in the world. Someone whom others won’t go online and complain about. Someone who is less likely to make someone’s day a little more shitty.

The Golden Rule is awesome. I struggle daily to abide by it.

No, it doesn't say you can treat someone badly if they treat you badly. It doesn't say anything about how others treat you having any effect on how you treat them.

It says you should treat everyone the way you'd like them to treat you, regardless if they actually do or not.

The problem with the golden rule is that different people want to be treated differently, so they may treat you how they want to be treated but not how you want to be treated, and vice versa.

Maybe when you're struggling with an issue, you want to be left alone to figure it out by yourself, but your friend in the same scenario would want someone to start doing anything to help out and insisting on troubleshooting the issue together. So your friend ends up frustrating you by offering to help too much when you just want to be left alone and then when they're struggling, they get upset that you leave them alone to deal with it.

So communication is important. Ask people how they'd like to be treated rather than just assuming they'd want to be treated the way you want to be treated and be honest with them about how you'd like to be treated.

This way of phrasing it is very bad. The idea of golden rule is to consider others as equal to yourself, and award them the same benefit of the doubt you would want others to give you before judging you.

It doesn't really cover the cases if someone is actively malicious towards you. It's basically outside of the scope of this rule.

In any way it's too flawed as a base for further developing a moral system. I recommend to look into the idea of Original position or "veil of ignorance" for a different approach to the same problem.

It's so-so. Treating people the way you want to be treated only works if you want the same things. Much better to treat others the way they want to be treated.

if you act badly do you think other folks should respond by treating you badly. If so you are following the golden rule by treating someone badly in response to them treating you badly. Im a real nice quiet person but I will get aggressive and mean if someone feels they can flaunt the social contract. Case in point is there is a lady that was coming onto our condo property with her small mean dog off leash and no collar actually that she could not recall. Does she get a nice how do you do and wave and smile. No. At least not since the first time we met. Now if I see her I lock on and move with alacrity to her position and get in her face and bitch at her and make her uncomfortable and will not leave till she leaves the property. Granted that has only happened once and for some reason I have not encountered her since.

"Treat others how you wish to be treated" is supposed to be acknowledged according to a diplomatic context as opposed to a domestic one. Of course, if you're handling a certain conflict a certain way and someone says the quote as a critique of you defending yourself or you applying the "if you can't beat them join them" rule in that conflict, it is most likely nothing more than them using it as an excuse to shift the burden. Protocol doesn't even work like that, so such a person invokes the idea their authority is challengeable when they do that. This is not what the prophets had in mind though when they said it, their context was one of escalating culture shocks where people sheltered themselves to one perspective, which didn't translate well into there being a basis for peace.

Treating somebody poorly, purely for spite or some form of retaliation, seems like a lot of unnecessary energy to expend on somebody who may not deserve that much space in your mind. The golden rule is not about whether someone has the right to be treated better than they have you, it is about discovering grace within yourself and extending it towards all others.

As to why you should, I could use another turn of phrase- "Lead by example". You had a poor example in how to extend grace to others in the form of your teachers, and you have the opportunity to be a positive example to others in their place.