Melbourne

The kids have discovered my old Transformers, which have been at my parent's house for the last 40 years.

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It's like watching Woody and Buzz being played with by the next generation. Seeing my old friends playing with my kids.

23 June last year i made the first daily thread here, so like an okay partner, happy anniversary everyone for a few days ago.

I'm in a cunt of a mood and I'm about to insult one or more people. Who the fuck orders a salad from a pizza shop?

Just finished doing a dress alteration for the lady that runs our local caff at the end of the street. Was able to fix her issue with a bought dress that was too long to dance in, but needed the long train for the photos. Heh heh, button and loop to hook up the train worked again! Free coffee all next week for 5 mins work and a button from the stash! Sewing is close to being the ultimate trade goods.

Filling out passport applications. Fucking nightmare if you were born overseas with a non English spelling birth certificate with wrong dates therefore the JP translation is wrong, citizenship paper's wrong and marriage certificate is wrong. This is going to be a nightmare to undo. Just ranting.

A coffee in the cool morning light,
Steam wafting lazily, taking flight.
Cold fingers grip the mug, quite tight,
A coffee in the cool morning light.

I keep having weird dreams at my current accom. Last night it was a very vivid one where I'd somehow had to move into a share house full of irritatingly self-absorbed and messy adults who were in their little northside cliques and weren't keen on making space for me. It was so alienating and made me desperate to move back to my own place. I bolted awake thinking I needed to email my previous landlord asap and beg to go back to my own apartment. The relief I felt when I realised a few minutes later that I didn't need to do any of that...

The day before it was about my brother betraying my location to my dad. Definitely a theme of despair and being trapped, and waking up to remember what freedoms I do have.

I think it's the humidity. 90%+ every day indoors. It always brings up bad memories...

Yesterday was the only day on the island where we've had sun. Today it's overcast again and this afternoon it's back to more rain... slept in massively after two days of hiking (with a thoroughly unconditioned body), time to get outta bed and go walk to the nearest town for some coffee and to get some postcards.

How on earth do the trees in Japan look so naturally stylish over waterbodies though?!? Is it the tiered structure of the crown?

pretty even in the rain

Themed lunch notes for tomorrow after a visit to the Dandenong Botanic Gardens today.

hooray for left overs from the freezer , I'm having chicken curry, rice with nuts and some chutney

you know it's cold when the morning birds aren't chirping

I would go to bed now if I thought I could sleep through the night 😴😴😴 bed and audiobook seems so cosy

Word vomit and mental health incoming, feel free to skip

My sister told me today that my ex seemed fake the way he acted towards me. I agreed with her. It sucks that none of it was real except the love that I felt for him. Also that he seems gay. Friends also said he seemed gay. That explains a lot and would make sense.

Even though I forgive myself for staying with someone who didn't love me, I've had too many coffees today and lost my three day no crying streak. I logically know that the past has happened and it isn't worth dwelling on it. I logically know that I'm better off without the relationship, but the heart side of me kinda collapsed today. That is okay. Healing is not linear. He's definitely not sitting there crying over me, he's probably forgotten me by now. I just feel like I have no direction in life right now and everything feels pointless and bleak. I'm scared and I don't know if I'm going to make it through the rest of the year. But the fact that I have no direction or clue in life really means that there are opportunities out there that I can't see yet.

That therapy appointment couldn't come sooner. Just have to hold on for two more weeks.

Some better things:

• tomorrow I'm going to sign up for an 8 week fitness challenge to get me back into working out. I haven't properly worked out consistently in about a year.
• if I pass my uni stuff, I will also buy myself a drum kit or a cheap electric guitar. Watch me say all this shit and be good for three weeks and then fail.
• I don't care if these things plus therapy are going to eat into my savings at this point, because I need a lifeline. I should probably also do one thing at a time. I'm sick of my mental state stopping me from doing the things I want to do and ultimately being the person I want to be. I've felt stagnant for probably the past 10 years. I'm done with feeling that way, because if I keep feeling that way, it's going to be extra hard to get through life.

Sorry for spilling all the negative emotions.

You know when you eat so much you can’t get comfortable in bed for a while?

I feel like I’ll never eat again!

I've recently started adding healthy squirts of lemon juice to almost everything I cook (generally some kind of mix of pasta, rice, veg and meat/fish, flavoured with garlic onion and chilli), and it has been making a big difference. Before lemon juice I was adding vinegar for a while which helped, but lemon juice is making everything much more tasty

Suitcase preferences wanted. Soft-case or hard case and why?

Still COVID positive so still isolating at home, but not feeling too shabby so I have spent the morning absolutely smashing out some garden/outside house jobs in this fabulous weather, and am now going to reward myself by lounging on the terrace with a book.

Just sat through an extremely boring 70 minute meeting listening to a panel of vote counters slowly call out 289 ballot papers.

The majority of the 200 present were on their phones scrolling a social feed or playing games.

I woke up just after 6, forgot to go back to sleep and now it's probably time to get up

WHYYYYY am I awake?!

Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

Giant sleep followed by slow walk and coffee and now I am sitting on my couch with the sun streaming in. I am starting to think the cold I had a few weeks ago might have been the Rona (I tested negative but it was about 5 days in before I got to test)... That would explain the fatigue and ongoing breathlessness and shitty feeling.

Sun and walks and sleep and lots of water today to try to kick the last of it. My floors can stay unmopped.

I had today marked for cleaning the floors but it’s too nice in the sun, I’m having trouble making my way back inside to start the job.

This goblin is gonna curl up in bed. Too chilly for folk such as I.