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Is any body able to provide some advice to help my friend through a bad patch? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 6 months ago by dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

2 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track.

My friend had some health issues and had to stop working, my other friend now does all the labour, and he just runs the business.

He then split with his partner who he has children, as frankly he would never be at home and it was always going to happen.

I just found out the health condition has gotten worse and he will have to lose a leg. He never improved his diet, kept hitting the coke hard and gambling. So recently he has gambled away £35,000 and had a breakdown with another friend.

How do I even be there for him and keep him on a good path, providing he is open to change.

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[–] protist@mander.xyz 7 points 6 months ago

How do you keep him on a good path? You can't. The only person you can control is yourself.

How do you be there for him? First, accept that he may never change and may continue to spiral down. If you've accepted that and think you're in a good enough place to tolerate being around him, then do just that, be around him sometimes. It's paramount you have good boundaries though. He may try to use you for money, shelter, or any number of things you will have to say no to, and you need to feel alright with saying no.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

Set up a standing breakfast appointment with him every Saturday morning. The best way to help out a friend who’s going through something hard is to be there consistently. If you can consistently meet with him, it will provide a point of stability in his life.