If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn't say no.
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.
Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.
Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.
Anatomically incompatible, probably.
Bro, the genre's called fantasy for a reason.
Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be...
If that's the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won't be a dream.
And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc.. Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor's interpretation is far from the artist's intentions.
I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I'm mostly just riffing.
My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too.
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The goblin swinging a club on the other hand...
She doesn't love you, you're the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs
Beggars can't be choosers.
Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. ..and she grabbed it before she ate it.
Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.
Hey, that's not fair to the goblin.
you're aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.
Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.
Anatomically incompatible meaning... Well... You ever tried to put a sausage inside a garden hose?
yeah and it worked after i cut a bit off so what's your point
Is this how circumcision works?
Yes.
Like i said, people can be in relationships without penetrative sex, or do you think lesbian marriages are invalid?
Not since I was a kid, it fit but barely... It was a firehose though so idk if that counts.
I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible
You had me at smells like shit
Making a lot of assumptions and claims about a literal fantasy creature.
Sure, but I'm probably right, based off franchise lore.
Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance
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If a ~~cute goblin~~ woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn't say no.
FTFY
She's like 7 years old and roughly that size too.
@fbi@fbi.gov deal with this guy
The average goblin is about 3 to 3.5ft. And you can’t really tell a goblins age by looking at them. Admittedly, they reach adulthood at ~8 years old, but they live to 60.
You’re reaching, and it’s kinda creepy.
It's a joke my friend. The FBI don't actually have a lemmy server
Ya don’t joke about that kinda stuff.
"It just looks like a kid"
Yeah a bit too much for me lol
Sad truth is, the government does not care about the wellbeing of goblins. Shameful.
That said, i do not see a mention of age.
i will never understand the idea that human age limits would apply to a completely different species, if they're fully mature and capable of consent at 9 years old then that's their age limit, we don't get to impose that on their species.
Should we stop birds from getting it on with each other because they mature within a year or two? I think they might take offense to that, and i don't want to face an angry goose.
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I am so sick of these unrealistic body standards.
What the fuck? Oh hell yes!
I think this is the wrong community for this type of comics ...
I think this is the wrong community for this type of comment ...
Hygiene for starters...
Wasn't there a Goblin Waifu game that was alright?
"Your a cute short-queen, sure. Been wondering what it would be like to have a squeaker toy, let's go take a bath together to celebrate."
"😍"
Edit: I am unsurpised and mildly disappointed that some folks have such narrow minds combined with a lack of humor. Truly a pity.
