A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
the cameras are looking. and they're getting better with time.
more than once i've had an attendant come over (from a different area, out of sight range) check my bags, cart, and screen because they were notified of a possible 'mis-scan'. by who? i dunno if it was automated or from LP.
and it's always been for some cheap little shit like a tub of sour cream or can of veggies or something. never 'found' anything, though.
I've left what I was gonna buy and walked out of two Walmarts because some employees were hella aggressive when they did this. They treated me like shit because they were "certain" I was stealing. I understand theft is a problem, but at least be chill about it, and I'll be damned if you think you're searching my belongings (wallet, pockets, etc.). Both times I was only buying like 5 things.
Please remember through all this BS, that none of this was the idea of the retail employees you are interacting with.
Probably another AI with an 80% false positive rate...
I'm very aware, and I've been completely cooperative with everyone because they're just doing their job. The two I walked out on though were power tripping assholes, and had no need to try to go through my wallet or search me.
Nothing makes you feel appreciated as a customer like being treated as a thief.
Walmart actually has some computer vision thing monitoring it now at some stores. It locks the register until an attendant comes over, scans their badge and it shows video of what it thinks you did so they can check
i do remember seeing video playback on the register screen when they did that.
My job does this too