this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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My spouse and I have been doing some restructuring of our finances now that they have a new job as of a month ago. We've been doing an equitable split of our finances based on income which involved us taking inventory of everything we're paying every month.

This led to me really taking a closer look at all of my debt and that has me really bummed out. My best friends just bought a house and I'm in the hole for 84k US worth of student loans, credit cards, medical debt and a refinance loan I took for my previous credit card debt while I was getting my second degree.

A big motivator for going back for a second Bachelor's in Computer Science was knowing I could make more money and be able to pay off my debt sooner. However currently I'm getting paid a little less per year than I owe back. Also, my work life is having a negative impact on my mental health so I'm also looking for other jobs when I can.

It feels like I'm doing all I can but it's barely enough to make a dent in my debt each month. If I fall apart and lose my edge I'll get fired and then I'll end up accruing more debt. I'm also worried about being discriminated against by future employers as a trans person (being misgendered daily at my current job is a reality). But my stamina bar is super low and it's hard to take further action when I feel so powerless.

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[โ€“] cobra89 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

And that debt can even follow your family long after you are gone.

No it can't. At worst it can be taken out of the estate before the heirs/recipients in the will get their cut.

No debt can be passed to family members except for if they co-signed something or they somehow have shared responsibility for a debt (like being named on a credit card account), which is not the case in about 99.9% of situations.

[โ€“] ArtZuron 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I didn't say all the debt, or even a lot of it. You even gave an example of debt that can follow your family.

Edit: this is also assuming you are in the US. Which isn't the whole world.