this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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Techniques to manage the intensity of emotions sit between the parts you're describing.
I agree that Inbetween the feeling rising up and our reaction there's a choice to be made. Highly intense feelings overwhelm and reduce our choices in the moment.
Understanding what's underneath or behind our feelings is one excellent way to do this which sadly doesn't work for everything, especially the most intense feelings
This is why I recommend dialectical behavioral therapy. It teaches mindfulness and radical acceptance to reframe your relationship with your emotions in a more healthy light, and also solid techniques for emotion regulation and distress tolerance. It helped me soooo much.
Edit to add: there is a lot of free DBT material on the internet that you can pursue without a therapist, if there are none available to you at the moment.