Iowa

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this, but I thought I might shout into the void for a moment. I'm a lifelong Midwesterner, but I've always tended to live in larger, college-type cities with a notable liberal leaning. Two and half years ago, my partner and I moved to central Iowa so I could return to college and get my degree. This was my decision, as was the choice of school. There is a good, relatively inexpensive degree program for an uncommon field, and my partner has friends in the area. I love our home and my school, those choices I don't regret.

But, I hate Iowa so much. It's so overwhelmingly mediocre. Except for the politics, which frankly are abhorrent and are getting worse by the day. It's a cultural wasteland, even in a college city. Even on campus, I don't think Ive ever been anywhere with so many white people, and I say that as a white person. The restaurants have little variation, the shops are all big boxes. Even Des Moines is only the size of Madison, WI, and without hardly any of the personality (yes, the East Village is nice and we love the botanical garden, but that only goes so far). The landscape is flat and unchanging, and the only beauty, the prairie, has almost entirely been stripped away to plant more corn. So much corn across unending flat, treeless terrain.

It also doesn't help that I have been completely unable to make any fiends here. Friendly acquaintances, sure, but not someone I can grab a beer with and kvetch about life with. I'm in my early 40's, as is my partner, and we are happily child-free and non-religious. So, there go two major ways of meeting people around here: kids and church. My partner is from Iowa, although not this area, and has a circle of 5 or so guys that have been friends since college that live in the area and they get together weekly to play games. I am welcome to join them whenever, and I do sometimes, but they are people with his interests, not mine. I've tried Meetup a few times, alone and with my partner. I'm a student, but 20 years older than all my fellow students, and with life and work experience closer to my professors, who I'm not allowed to be friends with. All our neighbors are retired (or close) conservatives with whom we have a polite but distant relationship. I've looked for crafting communities to try to find a hobby group, but only find old lady quilting clubs meeting in churches in the small towns nearby. I'm outgoing and talkative, and have a variety of interests, so I'm not used to being in an environment where I literally can't make any friends.

I'm going crazy in a place I feel like an alien in. I've never been so lonely and felt so isolated in my life, even during COVID. I still have a few years here while I finish my degree, so I have to make peace with my choice and find a way to exist here. Surely there has to be a way for a liberal person to find a community in central Iowa?