this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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Stop spying on your kid... Jesus.
I'd like to go against the stream and say that if you let your kids use the internet, spy the fuck out of everything they do in there. At least until they're something like 16yrs old.
Better yet, don't let them use the internet.
Good luck with that. And also spying is the best way to lose your kid's trust.
Well of course tell them that you're gonna do it. I guess "spying" isn't the best word then?
'Monitoring' if anything is worse. After puberty a human needs some degree of privacy and autonomy. By all means use blockers, but reading their every google search, and especially making them aware of that, is only hurtful.
monitor*
My parents used this as part of their obsessive-control emotional / psychological abuse. Mostly to try to indoctrinate me into their cult, and their extremist right-wing ideology. There is a place for filters, and even search reports - but search reports ought to end around 14 years, and by 16 there needs to be some form of legal recognition of privacy rights as a human being for cases of isolating abuse as a part of indoctrination. P*rn blockers etc on the router are fine though, the network legally belongs to the parents. But human being, at least after puberty, requires privacy for proper psychological development. Complete surveillance after that time is psychologically and emotionally harmful to both the child and the relationship.
I'm reminiscing the days in school where we'd use proxy sites to get around the school blocklist/monitoring to play dolphin olympics
I remember busting out an ssh tunnel and blowing everyone's mind
Reduce it gradually to 0 until 16.
Spare them the embarassement with their peers.
Gives them a good reason to hang around with friends, if they can get to the internet via them, right? :)
Even worse using kaspersky...
How?
Invasive reports of literally everything. Making it way too easy to control your child to the point of psychical damage, and with some parents a tool for abuse.
If there’s a reliable way to only be alerted to specific activity, then the parents aren’t really actively spying, in the sense that the kids still have privacy when they aren’t transgressing into prohibited space. As long as that prohibited space is reasonable (huge debate possible there of course) and the kids know about the restrictions. imo
this post is about a child being blocked then reported to their parents for 'teaching crabs to read'
I don't think you can defend it as a reasonable prohibited space
True. But the comment I was replying to was referencing the monitoring itself, not the outcome.