this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Yep, I just spent months agonizing over choosing a school program. I think our bodies tell us what we need if we listen. I was set on the "safe" choice, but as the registration deadline got closer I got more and more depressed and wasn't sure why. I came home one day and just collapsed on my bed and started sobbing because it didn't feel like "me" and I couldn't see myself being happy doing that for the rest of my life. But I didn't even realize how much I didn't want to do the program until it got so bad I couldn't control my emotions. I was trying really hard to force myself to be excited about the safe route but I just couldn't do it. I think our bodies tell us what we need. I was ignoring the twist in the pit of my stomach, ignoring how drained I felt learning the subject, ignoring the subconscious procrastination and lack of focus. I switched my program to what I really wanted to do and p much immediately felt relief. I feel aligned with myself, excited to start classes, feeling good about the job prospects and the types of people I'll get to be around. I literally feel lighter.
Some other people have made really good comments and suggestions about how to figure out what your gut is telling you. It's a bit morbid, but I like to pretend I'm old and on my death bed looking back at my life. How would I feel about the decisions I'm making right now? Will I regret not going for the harder thing I want more? Will I be happy to take the safe route? Did I waste my precious time that's now ending? Etc etc