I grew up with an older brother who would call things gay in a derogatory way back when we were teenagers and i also picked up the habit even though I had never met a gay person and have never had (and still dont have) any hate for them or anyone regardless of sexual preference or gender identity

I still call things gay tho to this day, usually when something kinda annoying happens (e.g. that was kinda gay when the teacher made us do extra homework)

I'm sure there are people who might feel hurt about that so i filter myself when meeting new people and i generally use it less these days but it happens sometimes

Anyone else relate to this?

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 12 points 1 year ago

Having graduated high school in 2010, yes, I used to do this. When I was much younger, like in elementary school, I honestly just thought it meant stupid and didn't learn what it really meant until middle school.

I don't want to sound like a brow beating moralist but I would encourage you to stop. Your post reminds me of my mentality of using it in high school. I didn't view it as rude and I wasn't directly saying anything negative about actual gay people, so that makes it okay, right? That's how it felt at the time. I remember saying some annoying or ugly thing was "gay" around a stranger and we sort of had a moment of awkward eye contact. I'm not sure if they were gay and offended or just generally out of by someone saying something like that, but that was the moment I realized I really shouldn't be using it like that. I really regret using it like that even though it felt like it was culturally acceptable at the time.

TLDR I regret using it like that and don't want you to end up with regrets too.