Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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The whole point of the trans movement, is recognising that beyond a small number of very specific biological truths, that the majority of gendered experiences are entirely social.
i.e. being viewed as masculine or feminine, is as arbitrary as deciding whether you're goth or emo or punk
So I guess what I'm saying, is that from your post, I'm sensing that you're finding that strict societal don't really resonate with you. You don't feel especially stereotypically feminine or stereotypically masculine, or perhaps sometimes you feel a bit of both, or some other combination.
And at the tame time, you're saying "please don't tell me I'm trans" - and frankly, that makes perfect sense to me, because if the whole problem is rejecting labels in general, why would you want another one?
Not that I know anything, but it seems to me that you might try just letting go of the idea of gender being something that matters to you completely.
Like, personally I'm not punk, or emo, or alt, or goth, or country. Sometimes I listen to these genres, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll dress and express myself with hints of these genres, sometimes I don't. Mostly I'm not really any of them.
And if someone says "do you like punk music", I can say "Yeah sometimes" or "I'm not in the mood", or "Oh yeah, lets do it". And if they say "Yeah but you're not really punk", I don't really mind one way or another. I don't have to be anything really.
I don't see why you couldn't approach gender the same way. I don't see why you have to commit to, or justify your specific interpersonal or social choices. If one day you want to do something that's viewed as super masculine, cool! if another day you reject certain masculine things, or even the same masculine thing - that's cool too! And that doesn't even need to make you "trans".
Beyond specific medical/biological concerns, most of this stuff is just words, and it's all made up.