this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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I think a lot of it depends on the delivery. Those sorts of comments can come across as judgemental and/or an attempt to put you into a box (which has high potential to then lead to comments if you ever do anything outside what they have decided is "your" style).
Sometimes it can also be hard to tell what is intended, until you have a pattern of similar comment from the same person.
Exactly - now that I’ve thought about it I do feel there’s a difference. Ie. I have friends who will make a comment and it doesn’t bother me as I know they’re not trying to categorise me.
But there’s a way some people go about it that just feels off to me. Like the much older man who was my tutor who decided to take on this weird paternal attitude toward me. His commentary on my clothes in front of everyone was not wanted lol.