this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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My thoughts is that it's a simple situation really. If they're harassing or assaulting people, the women will call the cops or something, simple situation and get the guy arrested. If he's not doing anything, it's nothing harmful. Apparently that's not a solid enough answer. What should I have said?

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[โ€“] Eryn6844 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

and what is stopping a cis male from doing the same?

[โ€“] tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Irrelevant but: I, um, did this once. We were at a fancy art gallery. I somehow followed what I thought was a mixed group into what I thought was a general bathroom. I remember thinking "what a novel concept to mixed bathrooms this is!"

It was only afterwards that I realised that, no, this was not a mixed bathroom. No one said anything, but I cringe at myself and at how uncomfortable I must have made people feel.

[โ€“] slowcakes@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Naich@lemmings.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What's to stop him just walking in anyway?

[โ€“] slowcakes@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago

Don't live in the US, but in Sweden almost all WCs are gender neutral.

But the scenario is a cis gender male, walking in to a bathroom where he doesn't belong. And you ask what is stopping him, well in the world where someone is asking you what gender you are, to allow you to go the bathroom; I guess that will be stopping you.

It's a made up scenario

[โ€“] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

Culture and common understanding. The sense of shame he'd get from everyone around saying, why are you in the wrong toilet? And the potential for escalation if he doesn't turn back and leave.

Changing culture means new adaptation to what's comfortable, what feels safe, and how you can interact with a stranger without getting the police involved. We have to adapt: but that change is a legitimate difficulty/concern for women who don't feel safe doing their 'toilet' with men around.