Relationship Anarchy

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How to stop thinking like 'first is special' in relationships. (self.relationshipanarchy)

submitted 1 month ago by SweetCitrusBuzz to c/relationshipanarchy@slrpnk.net

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So something we have been thinking about recently is the 'first is special' toxic idea of like it's better if some{one/many} does a particular thing with some{one/many} first before any others or just before some{one/many} else even if they aren't the first and how to stop thinking this way.

Do y'all have any ideas/suggestions on how to do this or work on it (slowly)?

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[–] degen@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Firsts can be special and significant, but they don't have to be consuming or detracting to subsequent experiences. At the same time, not everything has to live up to the past.

And at the even samer time, what about the first time with that person/those people? That can be something special in itself. Yet again, nothing has to be special about it at all.

We'll always have nostalgia and a certain view of past joys because it partially makes us who we are now. I realize I haven't really said much with this, and it might have a hokey zen vibe, but keeping that perspective in mind might help. Personally it can be hard for me to hold on to.