this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
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Question: I tend to use they/them both when I'm unsure of someone's gender or pronouns, and when gender is irrelevant to a given conversation. Does that also feel like a misgender?
(Disclaimer: I might be biased, because I feel more like agender, which means I'm more comfortable not referencing gender at all)
For me, anyway, they/them is in its own category, where they aren't my pronouns, but I have no issue with someone using them for me. I wouldn't get upset unless someone is blatantly trying to use it to misgender me for whatever reason. In your situation, if it makes you feel more comfy to use gender neutral pronouns for me, I'm fine with it.