this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.


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[–] t3rmit3 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

So if I'm I'm understanding the idea correctly, it would be something like (for me)

  • I use he/him for my friend group, who I expect to have a personal relationship with me
  • I use they/them (singular) in the workplace, where I am a peer but not really a personal acquaintance
  • I use they/it online, where who or what I am is unimportant to anyone but me (it's my choice whether to divulge info about myself)

I see the logic there, and I think it almost feels like treating all pronouns as neopronouns, where each pronoun set embodies a different aspect of your Self: my work self's pronouns, my home self's pronouns, etc etc.

I think the biggest pushback you'll see from this is that most people aren't comfortable with using varying pronoun sets, and definitely not for 'traditional' pronouns.

[–] jarfil 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why "they/it" instead of also "they/them"?

I was under the impression that "they/them" were the already established pronouns when gender is irrelevant.

[–] t3rmit3 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I was just using that as an example, since I already listed they/them as the second pronoun set

[–] jarfil 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I get that, I'm just trying to understand the difference between /them and /it in that example. I feel like "them" is more generic than "it", so I feel like "them" would be a better fit in a space where it's nobody's business, the same as in a professional setting.

Am I mistaken or missing something?

[–] t3rmit3 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I feel like “them” is more generic than “it”

That's interesting. I hadn't really thought of them in terms of comfort level needed to use them with others, and after considering it I think you're probably right.

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