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Employee Lost Like Sailor In Maelstrom After HR Fails To Send Out Quarterly Company Update (www.theonion.com)

submitted 4 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Quarterly? Weekly more like.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"This week we're taking your workflow and completely changing it because we felt like it. Please keep the same productivity even though we added 20 unnecessary steps and 12 redundant steps."

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"This week insert managerial circle-jerking recap that has nothing to do with the day to day operation"

[–] Umbrias 3 points 4 months ago

"This week we, as management, scheduled back to back meetings with each other about what meetings we'd have in order to plan how we will strategize future company changes. This makes us feel valuable and productive and justify making a magnitude more money than you. Thanks for your hard work!"

[–] lucullus@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 4 months ago

Or different managers in the company each send a weekly newsletter to all employees. Additional to the Did-you-see-this-shit-on-our-comporate-social-media-platform mails, for which I don't know any colleague, that actually reads them.