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Should I date now if I have to move in a few months to a place that is hours away by car and would likely have more potential suitors? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by appledinosaurcat to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Please be kind as this topic is a pain point for me. I'm feeling the pressure of finding my significant other because I'm at an age where it seems like everyone in my social media feed is getting engaged, married, or having kids. The issue is I have a huge transition coming up and will have to move in a few months to a place that is a few hours away by car. I will have a lot more free time soon before moving, but then after I've moved to the new location I will be extremely busy and worry that I won't be able to sustain a relationship, let alone a long distance one. However, I am very aware that the clock is ticking and something else to consider is that I need to rely heavily on dating apps currently, whereas there would likely be more potential suitors where I'm headed to. What if I do find the right person during this seemingly short window of time? What if we could make the long distance work or he wanted to move with me? Or do you think it is smarter and there is more potential for me to meet someone at the new location after getting situated? Any advice or suggestions are welcome. Thank you!

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[–] rimu@piefed.social 50 points 7 months ago (1 children)

my social media feed

Is it possible that social media is the cause of this anxiety?

[–] appledinosaurcat 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It is definitely possible and I have spent much less time on social media overall these recent years. Societal expectations/norm, family asking, my own internal thoughts contribute surely contribute too. How does one look past all of these reminders?

[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It is definitely possible and I have spent much less time on social media overall these recent years. Societal expectations/norm, family asking, my own internal thoughts contribute surely contribute too. How does one look past all of these reminders?

At the end of your day, year, or lifetime, none of those other people's opinions matter. You are the one who will be most impacted by your decisions and experience the benefits or consequences, not them. Please do not make major life decisions because of others' expectations. Get married, or don't, have kids, or don't but make these decisions because they are what you want in life. You are responsible for your life.

I'd also recommend continuing to reduce social media consumption, especially corporate social media. These companies are interested in profiting off of your unhappiness and will manipulate the posts that you see to drive "engagement".

[–] appledinosaurcat 3 points 7 months ago

Thank you for your advice :) I know you're right, it's often easier said than done but I'll continue doing my best to trust the process. I'll try to remind myself that it'll be that much sweeter when the right person comes along at the right time, if that's what is meant to happen