When you look at that process of waiting on somebody who has told you they were going to do something and told you they were going to be there for you and they were not, they are showing you in that moment exactly who they are. That means that's somebody who cannot be trusted. So why would you the next time trust that person?

So, Maya Angelou said to me, when I was telling her one of these stories about, "I'm waiting and I couldn't believe it and he didn't call me and I don't know what happened," she was saying, "My dear," in her Maya voice, "My dear, when people show you who they are, why don't you believe them? Why must you be shown 29 times before you can see who they really are? Why can't you get it the first time?"

And so the adjunct of that is, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Don't wait for the twenty-ninth time."

The full quote is "When people show who you who they are, believe them the first time."

Which I think is the best version of the quote, honestly. We've been letting conservatives scream about who they are without really believing them for 70 fucking years now. Now they're not even afraid to put on a mask, they've gone fully mask-off on abuse and racism. This is what you get by enabling them through not believing them the first time. To me that's the further issue that Angelou didn't touch on. You're enabling that behavior by treating them as though they will somehow magically change. For Oprah it was assuming that man would suddenly start calling and treating her right. For the US political establishment it's for assuming conservatives are operating in good faith.

(It is Oprah Winfrey rephrasing statements she had been told by Maya Angelou. So the quote often gets attributed to them both, but I would consider it a Winfrey quote simply because she's paraphrasing someone else, using her own words.)

(Also, while the quote is good and Maya Angelou is good. Fuck Oprah Winfrey and all the fucking snake oil peddling freaks she promotes.)

[–] frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cringe as fuck

Bad advice really

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 8 points 7 months ago

So... You shouldn't take past behavior as an indication of future behavior?

I think it's good advice. Saves a lot of time