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If you don't like beer, I'm going to recommend you drink something else. If you can better define what you don't like about a specific beer you've had, we can talk about beers that might fit your palette a bit better.

The best thing to do if you want to try some beers is go to a beer bar that does flights/tastings and try a bunch of different styles. Non-beer drinkers should probably stay away from lagers, pilsners, and IPAs, as that's what people like OP associate with "piss water" but that's a pretty small portion of what makes up the styles of beers. Stouts, sours, fruited beers, ambers, hefewiesens, are a bit more friendly to the palette.

Dark beers like stouts or porters. Often times they're sweetened with Maple/Coffee/things if that's more your taste.

Honestly go to a well known brewery near you and order a flight. That way you can sample a bunch of different styles and go from there.

Hitachino Nest White Ale. A Belgian-style wheat beer that is both light and complex, with orange peel, coriander and nutmeg flavors.

Unlike other beer flavor descriptions, this one is actually legit, you can really taste a bit of those things, and it's delightful. It's also not a dark, heavy beer, it's light and refreshing.

It is the best beer I've ever tasted, and one day I will travel to Japan so I can have some straight from the tap.