this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[โ€“] CanadaPlus@futurology.today 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

So then I guess C is salamander. Also lays eggs and lives by a pool, but doesn't do anything extra, and is a necessary step before most of the other modern languages.

COBOL is a coelacanth. To everyone's surprise, they're still out there. We thought they were an old, very extinct example of a non-terrestrial lobe-finned fish, but they actually hung on in some odd environments. They cause massive indigestion to anyone that has to consume them.

If Node is a mosquito, Javascript itself is another hymenopteran: the yellow jacket wasp. Just as hated, and with a tendency to injure handlers, but widely successful and defended as filling an actual useful role in nature. They build delicate, arguably pretty nests.

[โ€“] sxan@midwest.social 5 points 9 months ago

I especially enjoyed your COBOL metaphor. Nicely done!