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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[–] FoundTheVegan@kbin.social 11 points 11 months ago

Well, this sort of thing is honestly above any social media's pay grade, so I will only tell you what I did after talking with my therapist

I know how this feels and I'm sorry you are going through it too. After the only member of my family who was even remotely kind to me died (and even that was an abusive relationship), I cut off contact with everyone else related to me and my life has only improved. It's been about 6 years now but i am much happier for it, no judgement, no yelling, no control, life is just... quieter.

You can't control how others act, and your father has had several decades to reconsider. At a certain point, you should just protect your own well being and go no contact.

Being a part of your life is a privilege, not a right.