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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[–] vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 11 months ago

I've got a "father figure" who I'm not on speaking terms with. I'm in my early 30s. I am also a father. I have also tried to keep the door open and have been punished for it.

This is the part where I give you advice, but I don't really have any. You're not alone. Our generation had a large shift away from believing that respecting your parents meant that you had to do everything they said. Some people simply don't comprehend that respect must be earned. I will make sure that I deserve the respect of my child.