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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 10 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I relate to this. My father isn't as openly hostile as yours sounds, but he's a narcissist. One year, he decided he was to busy to visit my kids, his grandkids. He's retired.

For me, there is an emotional tug that will always be there, not for him, but for a father that loves me. Rationally, I remind myself of why I haven't talked to him in 5 years. It's gotten easier over time, but it still flares up occasionally.