this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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It's not exactly a switch you can just flip off, and your loved one probably doesn't think they have a problem. Personally, The amount of time it took for me to start pumping the brakes to quitting 100% was about 2 years.
What I know now, and what it took me so long to figure out, is that I can't have the same relationship with alcohol that you might see in movies/tv. I'd quit for a couple days, maybe even a week, and then I'd drink on a Friday and inevitably I'd take it too far, and then I'd be drinking again. I thought a "healthy" relationship with alcohol was possible for me, and it simply isn't.
I also didn't realize that I had formed so many habits around my drinking. Hanging out with friends? Gotta drink. Doing my hobbies? Drink. Feeling thirsty or hungry? Drink. Feeling anxious? Again, drink. Giving up drinking would throw me into a very very deep depression, because I couldn't find enjoyment in anything anymore.
What really helped me out was weed/delta 8 gummies. I would come home after work, and I'd be super depressed, and all I'd want to do is lay down in bed and not move. I'd eat half of a pretty strong weed gummy and watch bad anime... and that was enough to tie me to my bed and not drink. Over the course of months I then had to relearn how to find enjoyment in anything.
In retrospect, giving up drinking was the best decision I ever made. I didn't fully appreciate how awful the long term effects of alcohol are, and how much of a general malise it put me in. After the first year of not drinking at all, I lost a ton of weight, I started sleeping better, and I was sooooooo much less of an anxious mess. But you need to understand what you're asking of this person... you're asking them to take the first step in a months long depressive slog where they have to relearn how to live like a normal person.
My advice to you is to imagine you're dealing with a profoundly depressed person who's only barely keeping it together. Do you want to have a screaming match with a depressed person while they're trying to get a few scraps of enjoyment in their life at night? Do you want to make an already depressed person cry when they're their most venerable during a hangover? Your goal should be to convince your partner that giving up drinking is what they want, and take it from there.