this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
139 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

1454 readers
69 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I'll give it a shot, "I thought I apologized already, but whatever…"

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 1 year ago (7 children)

🚫 Conditional apologies:

  • "I'm sorry if..."
  • "I'm sorry but..."
  • "I'm sorry for [not the main thing you should be apologizing for]..."

🚫 Apologizing on behalf of the recipient:

  • "I'm sorry you feel that way"
  • "I'm sorry you came to that conclusion"

🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:

  • "I'm sorry for not being more clear"
  • "I'm sorry about being so misleading"

🚫 Non-apologies:

  • "I apologize for..."
  • "It's regrettable that..."
  • "It was terrible to..."

When in doubt, keep it simple. Get the main apology out ASAP, then carefully start saying your piece afterward. Focus on yourself if the situation demands explaining yourself (many don't). Be extremely careful to speak only constructively about other individuals during the apology (if you can't say something nice...).

For example: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

[–] Cralder@feddit.nu 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:

  • "I'm sorry for not being more clear"
  • "I'm sorry about being so misleading"

How are those insulting? Saying that I should have been more clear means I am the one who messed up by not communicating properly. Something like "sorry that you misunderstood" would be insulting since it places the blame on the recipient's intelligence.

[–] scubbo@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

They're not inherently insulting - there are ways to use those phrases appropriately, but they can be (and often are) used sarcastically, when the speaker had been clear in the first place.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)