this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2023
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I think it's kinda sad when a kid really blames their parents that it was born.
I come from a deeply traumatized and broken family. I've had this believe for a long time. But by blaming my parents i am just reducing myself, my value and my autonomy. And i am reducing the complexity of life, history and my parents π€
Don't mind me, i am just philosophicly reflecting on my life.
while I do not blame my parents, my experience does inform my decision regarding having children, I do not want to create a life that will become self-awareness and has to deal with the idea of inevitable death.
I also recognize unlike my parents that I am not fit to be a parent, I'd even argue lots of people aren't.
To have children or not is a deeply personal choice βΊοΈ
And also personal is the search for meaning in ones own existence. While searching we create: life, art, relationships, meaning. Memes. I think life becomes a burden, when external factors keep you from creating the meaning that you care for.
But speaking as a historian: we put a lot of presure on parents over the last decades. And the same presure on kids. It is relateable that having children or just excisting has become so... whats a fitting english word?.. not desireable?
I'm not sure having kids can be said to be "a deeply personal choice", it has to involve at least two other people, one of whom can't even express their opinion on the matter while they will be the one to experience the vast majority of the consequences.
I mean it's absolutely true that nobody consents to existence. You can choose to ignore this because it is uncomfortable, but it's true. Your parents very selfishly subjected you to almost infinite human suffering.
You know, believing that only leads to depression, i figure out. A depression, where nothing starts to matter and nothing could bring joy, so the only choice one can really have is... not participating in life anymore.
And it reduce parents to selfish beings and can lead to not seeing them as people (who mostly have feelings for their own kids).
I think there are issues to consider, and there are people who knowingly should not have children who are doing harm by having them. Usually though, it's not their fault for these bad things. They're things everyone has to deal with.
(There's also plenty of ethical considerations regarding climate change and tons of other factors that should be considered when having children. There is no real need for anyone to have kids, so you should only do it if you are going to do your best to make their lives good.)
There is a difference between just giving birth and actual raising children. Between birth parents, adopted parents.. There a plenty scenarios that exist: parents diying, family torn apart by war, parents becoming addicted. The queer community has a strong connection to found family. And of course all the people that never want and never will have children.
There are a lot of things in this world that could be much, much better right now. But the question, if life itself has a meaning is old as civilisation. But that's a thing noone can really answer. shouldnβt we ask ourself what could we do to create a world where we all can live in? Where we all can participate, been heared and seen?
I think giving birth is not the problem, but billionars and companies destroying our World and our lives since decades. And no one seem to make them responsibil for it.
When climate change hits us, there is a big chance that rich people will survive and will try to form a world as they please. They could erase feminism, queer folk, the diversity of culture, democraty. They will erase the fact that they destoried our world. So the humans that remain will be like slaves to them.
I agree with you for the most part. Everyone born should be treated as well as possible. Even still though, there are some people who should probably avoid having children. People who won't take care of them and people who will pass on genetics that are a high risk of being harmful to their children, for example.