I'm so used to people bullying me during school and high school, that I feel wrong when strangers do not immediately begin loathing my presence.
this post was submitted on 29 Jun 2023
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When someone has a slur in their speech because of an accent or impediment or whatever reason there may be, I need to remind myself it does not reflect their intelligence in any way.
The most ironic thing is that while nobody ever complains about it, when I hear myself on a recording I think I maybe should go see a speech therapist.
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That we are living in a simulation.
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That I am a terrible human being who is unworthy of love or respect.
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That I am incompetent and it's only a matter of time before my employer finds out and fires me.
The last one is Imposter Syndrome. I struggle with it too. Despite having worked in web development for 25+ years, I'm constantly finding myself thinking that I don't know anything and any day now everyone else will realize it. It's a constant battle to remind myself that I'm actually talented and knowledgeable and not just a huge fraud.
Is there any other profession where Imposter Syndrome is so ubiquitous as software development? Often you can even feel superior to some people while still feeling like an imposter yourself.
For me it may be more about the effort of handling all the responsibility given because of my skills and knowledge, so I am hoping people to call me out on all of the small mistakes and be less eager to trust me more responsibilities. I also get really hung up on trying to give perfect advice when requested to the point I would often rather do it on their behalf instead of trying to make sure I'm not accidentally leading them astray.
Yeah. 20 years of broadcast graphics here too. It is nuts how our brains lie to us.
Michael from Vsauce has an interesting point about how the mere existence of scripted media messes with our minds. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gUXxOYnd49Y
From the first day humankind realized they are making things and extrapolated something could have made them, they have imagined invisible forces controlling them. In the current era it has been kicked in to overdrive because we have daily first hand experiences on peering into completely scripted or simulated worlds.
My biggest worry is that I'll die...
What makes you feel like that?
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