No friends, for the rest of their fucking lives. I hope 50 grand was worth your fucking soul. Bootlicker extreme
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I do wonder if they wanted to be caught on some level chilling in a McDonalds on a laptop with a ghost gun in their backpack and a similar outfit, but more info will probably come out.
They’re not even getting the money. What a ducking joke.
I heard it was some boomer customer that ratted him out
This is an orgy of evidence, and feels like an arrest stemming from some illegal surveillance or intel means, a pretend phone call, and planted evidence.
It feels so much like when the allies would crack japanese codes and send a patrol plane to find a target, and make an excuse to go for the kill.
Maybe they'll use the 50k to escape Altoona and move to a country with better health care.
I would seriously never speak to someone again if I learned they were on a jury that convicted Luigi.
"Food was so bad, I thought I was eating the rotten flesh of an overweight CEO. 0/5 stars"
If only!