I think something that's being underestimated here is that often people greatly over-estimate their availability for this stuff. Even a 3-hour session, which is pretty short for sessions I've been part of, you really have to plan your whole day around, and they may simply have not realized the level of commitment that would require, or at least been prepared for it. I don't play right now, and haven't for a while, simply because I cant make that level of commitment, and it would be unfair to the rest of the table to have to deal with my unpredictable schedule.
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This is very true for all parts of life. I kind of feel bad for people who fall into it, a little. Folks just say yes to stuff and end up committing to like two DND games, a book club, a morning run, and a bowling league. Then they're just exhausted and unhappy.
Accurately imagining your future self is not a skill everyone has. Like, I'm awake and energetic right now at 1pm, but will I be the same at 6am to go for this morning run I'm being invited to? I think a lot of people just can't do that. They can't, I don't know, have empathy with their future self.
i don't think players are conditioned to expect you to be their little court jesters performing for them on demand, and i think it's really weird to make the case that they do
your player probably just got into dnd through something like dimension 20, which has its sessions edited down into 1 hour slots, but relatively seamlessly so you can't tell if you're not looking for it
I thought you were going to take this in the direction of unrealistic expectations about how long a session takes. I've always been really amazed at podcaster DMs' ability to get so much done in a 1-2 hour segment. When I used to DM I felt like I got the same amount done in about twice the time.
I mean, thats honestly going to be a thing that happens whenever some people get into something new through a different medium, really. Warped expectations are a thing. We've been dealing with it for decades with people who come to D&D/TTRPGs from video games, and expect the in game NPCs to act like theyre from skyrim or something. It's honestly not that much different, only with a different set of preconceived notions.
There's only one pause button I know that works on GMs, "food's ready!"
That'll pause any game. Though it may pause it in 10 minutes, as sometimes you want to hit a stopping point.
I found Pathfinder society scenarios are a good Start. 2 or 3 encounters, most are done in 2 hours, easy to adapt. Way less pressure than a 20 level run.