this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml 11 points 8 months ago

I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.

[–] onlooker@lemmy.ml 11 points 8 months ago

Fellow bipedal meat-things.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.

I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.

Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.

Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.

[–] anarchost@lemm.ee 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

"Buddy" elicits so many conflicting feelings in me.

Encino Man "buuuuudy"

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[–] craig9@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago

My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".

"Hey people, how's it going?"

That works for me

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 8 months ago
[–] GTG3000@programming.dev 10 points 8 months ago

"What's up everypony?"

[–] lone_faerie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 8 months ago
[–] SecretPancake@feddit.de 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] skrlet13@feddit.cl 9 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Remember, non binary ppl exist too! (in reference of "both genders")

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[–] frefi@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 8 months ago

for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"

[–] sjmulder@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.

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[–] xor@infosec.pub 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

dawg, home skillet, my glip glops, folks,
hydrogenated oil

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[–] echo@lemmings.world 8 points 8 months ago

all friends everyone folks peeps team

If you're only addressing one person then it can be left off entirely.

[–] pearable@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Folks for groups and friend for individuals is my go to. Comrade if you want to be spicy

[–] DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Earthling...Terran - I don't care how awkward it sounds. It's awkward for me to change might as well make it awkward for everyone.

Edit: just me being cranky... Normally I go out of my way to make people feel accepted.

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[–] OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 8 months ago

"What's up dog turds?"

"How's it hanging, dingleberry?"

"Nice job, Captain Hazelwood!"

I do actually know someone who speaks like this.

[–] Blizzard@lemmy.zip 6 points 8 months ago

What's up carbon based earthlings.

[–] TGhost@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Dude its OK for me because you Know, the dude.

Pacifist as fuck, its a good name then. I don't feel it like man, etc. Even the majority when using it don't think about lebowski.

If i name someone dude, there is more than "man" behind. But I'm maybe wrong ?

Edit : oh sorry realized plurials.

People fine for me, its just an habit to change really. Or hey guys and girls or better, hey girls and guys πŸ˜‚

But as non English speaker I could use dude for the group, and a my lady for her, if there is an fellow trans with me. Not others ofc. Will check thΓ© answers for real lol

[–] Cagi@lemmy.ca 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Dude isn't quite there yet. The phrase "I fuck dudes" has only one interpretation still.

There are still lots of reasonable women who don't want to be called dude as it is still associated with masculine people.

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[–] NENathaniel@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago
[–] Arghblarg@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] octopus_ink@lemmy.ml 7 points 8 months ago

So I've seen this a lot, but I'm Gen-X and dude was always masculine to me. I support use of dude as gender-neutral, but it's hard for me to do it naturally because my brain is so locked into dude as gendered.

Aerosmith ain't helping the situation.

(Also - some of the recent comments on that video are annoyingly predictable swipes at current issues. You have been warned.)

[–] DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I tend to use "folks" for my usual gender-neutral collective pronoun.

I don't think "dude" is a real issue, is it? Here in Australia, I'll happily use mate for any gender, and I often hear other genders do the same.

Of course, we also tend to unnecessarily shorten (or lengthen) people's names here, and those always get used:

  • Darren = Daz or Dazza
  • Josh = Josho
  • Dan = Danno or Danny-boy
  • Adam = Ads
  • [first name] Thompson = Tommo
  • [first name] Johnson - Jonno

Even our Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, is Albo. You get the idea... ;)

[–] InputZero@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago

I've found a lot of success using pal for the individual and folk for the group. Such as "Jesse is my pal", or "Hey folks."

....oh shit. Palworlds a thing now. Don't use pal.

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