this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy
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Lol, I'm the exact opposite of you - never had sex even once. So what's your secret? Don't tell me you're attractive?
There a ton of different ways to get laid. And depending on what your looking for, there are different requirements.
Most commonly people who don't get laid are looking for some level of intimacy with someone that actually finds them attractive. Which means that hookers are not an option.
Commonly people in this category have two issues (I'm probably projecting :P, but I don't have much to work on):
Standards too high. Just like poor people try to become billionaires. Sexless people wish for a harem of super models. Practice flirting with less attractive women until you learn to connect with women on a deeper level which will make lowering your standards to reasonable levels easier.
You're unattractive. A bit similarly to #1, influencers and your own expectations for a partner are warping your perception of how attractive you need to be. Seeing as the level of attractiveness you wish you had is completely unattainable, you give up or you look for ineffective shortcuts.
Don't worry so much, work on the basics: good hygiene, not terrible clothes, some level of social competence, a minimal amount of confidence. The minimum requirements are far lower than what you'd expect or what most people would think.
(Note being financially stable also helps in terms of minimum requirements for attractiveness, but it's not like you need the incentive of getting laid to want to be financially stable).
Keep working on both #1 and #2 and eventually they meet and you get laid and have a good time!