Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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@alyaza@beehaw.org is MIA currently, but this weekly thread has been so awesome to see and keep going; so I am making what would be her typical post for this week. Alyaza; stay safe friend, I hope everything is okay.
Beeple, how's your mid week going so far??
It's often hard to be married to someone with PTSD. I haven't had a very good week. In fact, I've not had a very good year. My nephew committed suicide, my parents aren't doing so well, and I feel like I have no one to talk to. I listen, but I don't really talk. And when I do speak, I feel like people don't understand me. If I show even the slightest vulnerability, I get told I'm playing the victim, so I try to keep a cheerful exterior.
The best things I have are: My discord buddies (really the closest friends I've got, which I know is pathetic), and I actually like my job and see what we do as praxis (though it's been harder and harder not to feel like I'm just doing zombie mode).
There's just a deep and profound sadness inside me, and my emotions are so raw that I just curl up like an armadillo.
The only moments I feel alive are when I'm on my longboard or bicycle. I keep thinking I should try to become closer friends with my longboarding pal because otherwise we probably won't talk much in winter. I also reconnected with a friend who I used to be very close friends with back in high school, so I should work on that friendship, too.
Sorry to hear. I'm well into several years of trending that direction and facing the realization that I have very little control over it.
I find that big waves of this attitude have been hitting multiple societies, we are told to "pick ourselves up by our own bootstrap" and seek "private personal therapy" - but there is no real weather report about how people are under the influence of many different information systems and outright campaigns to influence attitudes and reactions.
it's become a lifestyle for a year for me now, and the couple years before that weren't much more than a couple people with semi-neighborly contact. It's not a nice precipice to observe and realize you are folding into.