Vodulas

Your first and last sentences are a little incongruous. Being psychologically dependent on someone is not a good thing. It is a major problem when we get into the power dynamics of this particular relationship.

It’s not as though 29 and stunted 45 after abusive relationships are what you make them out to be.

This makes it so much worse, especially since you are very averse to therapy based on past posts.

Can you really groom a 29-year-old living with her parents who won’t let her come out?

Can a cis, 45 year old man with unresolved trauma groom a sheltered, abused 29 year old trans woman? Not technically, but the dynamics are closer to grooming than a healthy relationship. I'm glad you don't like the accusation. Hold that and maybe do a little introspection.

Look, I have zero experience with trans partners. I fuck up on my terminology with her.

That is another red flag.

And I call women “chicks” because my bi ex-wife did.

Really don't care. Don't do it.

I'm not digging for anything, that was surface level ick, and you made things a lot more so by adding details. This is such a bad situation and the potential for you to fuck up someone's entire life is so high.

The number of red flags in this post are enough to make a forest. I am really uncomfortable with this entire situation, and honestly kinda at a loss for words. Let me see if i can articulate some concerns.

I don't know how old you are, but from previous interactions I have gathered that you are a bit older than I am. That makes the age gap at least around 20 years. At least. An age gap that large when the people involved are say in their 40s and 60s is less concerning, but she is in her 20s. She is literally still figuring out who she is.

Edit: The age gap is 16 years. Doesn't change the points, but wanted to clarify with the facts

The slave comment when looked at through the lens of the age gap is more than just concerning. That is closer to grooming. And yes, I get there are ways to go about that with enthusiastic consent and mutual respect, but that doesn't seem possible in this situation.

Giving her a name based on a previously failed relationship is probably the least of the concerns, but really? Have a little thought to how that looks.

I have a huge amount of concerns around this statement:

Texting with her, as we started, she seemed totally passable

That is a knife's edge from some trans panic bullshit, especially since it appears you have trauma associated with penises.

And finally, don't call women "chicks" unless they ask you to. Its some old school misogyny and frankly is just tiring.

There is a world where this relationship turns out fine, but there are far more worlds where you fuck up her life as she is just learning who she is and what she wants her life to be.

The issues of consent are very present with her too

Oh, please feel free

Yeah, I almost could not finish it, and I really do not think it was necessary after the fact. Basically, it is worse than everything you have probably heard. So so so much worse

I am going to put the same warning on this post as I did on the one in literature:

For anyone about to read the article, it is A LOT. Like, I don't have any particular triggers and I had a hard time reading it.

The CW itself almost needs a CW, so I spoilered it here:

If you don't want to read it, the TL;DR is that Gaiman is a monster

I am going to put the same warning on this post as I did on the one in literature:

For anyone about to read the article, it is A LOT. Like, I don't have any particular triggers and I had a hard time reading it.

The CW itself almost needs a CW, so I spoilered it here:

If you don't want to read it, the TL;DR is that Gaiman is a monster

For anyone about to read the article, it is A LOT. Like, I don't have any particular triggers and I had a hard time reading it.

The CW itself almost needs a CW, so I spoilered it here:

If you don't want to read it, the TL;DR is that Gaiman is a monster

I want to start by saying I was just trying to add some context, and did not fundamentally disagree with your original statement, and don't necessarily disagree with this one either, it is just missing some context.

Clinton with his extensive policy of deregulation is hardly blameless either and is perhaps even more responsible for the current state of the US, in large part due to laying the groundwork for the current media oligopoly

Oh for sure Clinton carries a lot of that responsibility too. Every president since Reagan does. The shift has been going ever rightward since his presidency. I was not alive for Reagan and missed a lot of Bush Sr. (Bush Jr. was the first election I could vote in), but in the US Reagan is a bit of an infamous person, so just wanted to add that context.

I think that the federal structure of the US might end up preventing this from happening

See, I think the opposite will happen. Left leaning states are going to start bumping up against Federal regulations, and the Supreme court is the arbiter of those disputes. It is going to cause mass conflict and division among the states, further solidifying the left/right divide and Trump's cult of personality.

it is that it’s still in service of the Republican party, not Trump directly. For as long as the interests of this party and Trump align, they are on “his” side

speaking of his cult, Trump has his incredibly violent and loyal followers to fall back on. Most of the right wing militias in the US follow Trump, no questions asked. They have already shown they will literally commit treason in his name, and Trump has shown that he is not afraid to use them. That alone will probably keep the right from falling too far out of line.

Ultimately I know the right is thinking beyond Trump, but the issue is they also want fascism long term.

A few things to add:

Reagan was widely considered the beging of the downturn for the US. Bush just continued this policies plus waged war. It has been downward trajectory ever since

Trump is in the position he is in because he was able to put his cronies in the Supreme Court. Normally changes come slow, but he will be able to speed thing up significantly thanks to the sweeping powers they granted him and the fact they are super loyal to him (see Project 2025). The descent into fascism will come at us fast

There is also not a single homogenous US culture. States vary widely, and the US is also kinda odd in that states also have a certain amount of political autonomy. More left states are pushing to enshrine rights, while more right states are removing them. We are going to see more people that have enough money start moving to more left states. Right leaning states are going to continue to move more and more rightwards thanks to dissenting voices leaving. I feel heart broken for the folks that can't get out of those places

This was published in the same journal that published the black plastic study that had a huge math error. Also seem to have problems with conflicts of interest and studies changing authors immediately prior to publication. Dubious at best